Whether it happens suddenly or it’s something that happens over time, losing vaginal sensitivity can be extremely upsetting for a woman, especially one that’s quite sexually active.

This can come as even more of a shock if a woman has previously enjoyed G-spot or vaginal orgasms and great sex, because the loss of sensitivity may create some feelings of inadequacy. What can a woman that has lost vaginal sensitivity do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I was married for 11 1/2 years and the sex was good. Then I divorced and remarried. While my husband (now) and I were dating our sex was AMAZING!!! I never knew a woman could have an orgasm like that. I would drench him and the sheets by just having regular sex with no stimulation of the clitoris.

 

We’ve been married for 2 years now and for the last year I am not able to be stimulated inside anymore. I feel his penis in me but it doesn’t get stimulated. I asked my doctor and he just says to stimulate my clitoris, well I don’t want to have to do that all the time. I want to feel the stimulate my vagina again.

 

Why has this happened? What went wrong? Please help. 

 

- Michael, Florida

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Realize that it may be age or frequent sex that has caused the loss of muscle tone.

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I must admit when it comes to the polyamory world I tend to be a bit on the somewhat clueless side. It’s not because I don’t know about the world of polyamorous lifestyle, but because I can’t imagine myself being with more than one mate/girlfriend in my life.

But there are couples, Christian or otherwise, who don’t have a problem involving others in their relationships on an equal par regarding their intimate and practical lives.

The term “polyamory” is defined as “the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationships at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous perspectives differ from monogamous perspectives, in that they reflect one or more partner’s wish (es) to have further meaningful relationships and to accommodate these alongside their existing relationships.” (From Wikipedia)

This is not what we are talking about today.

Allegations of Child Abuse 

No, this is about the recent raid of the Fundamentalist Mormon compound “Yearning for Zion” in Eldorado, Texas. This raid took place because of allegations of abuse to the children by a call to authorities (currently they are not able to substantiate the actual caller).

As many as 533 women and children were taken away by Texas authorities and 416 boys and girls ranging from six months to 17 years went from being in an isolated life to the real world.

Some may say that this is an intrusion of the government and the law; some may say it is needed to send a message that the current laws on the books cannot protect this lifestyle. What really stands out to me through all the media hype and public interest is the lack of freedom these kids and women have in regards to their spiritual, sexual and marital lives.

The teachings of the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are far from the mainstream teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. LDS members worldwide are aware with the history of having multiple wives; Bringham Young and other church leaders were known to have many wives in the church’s infancy.

Until the turn of the 19^th century, the law and the church teachings of having legal multiple marriages came together thus making it clear to all members it was frowned on to have this in Mormon life. But this new view did not stop splinter groups from holding on to the current trend.

Groups like the FLDS made it a point to marry not just young girls to older men (from their 20s to as old as their 50s), it also had no problem having marriages with close relatives leading to inbreeding. This portion of the poly lifestyle is wrong.

It’s about choice 

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There seems to be a conspiracy. Men want women to climax, women want to climax. So why is that, according to studies, about 70% of women never reach an orgasm during intercourse?

We can of course focus on other methods women can orgasm (e.g., oral sex, fingering, etc.) but even those may not be enough to giver her an orgasm if she has negative sexual issues with herself.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #1: Shyness

One of the main things that prohibit women to let go between the sheets is good ol’ fashioned shyness. If this is what’s stopping your woman from reaching an orgasm, then there plenty enough ways to help her out.

For one, dim the lights or turn them off if that’s what she prefers. Many women have body and weight issues so the harsh reality of being naked in front of you will not only make her uncomfortable but make her mind focus on the wrong things (i.e., how she looks versus the pleasures her body’s getting).

Another way you can help her out is by actually encouraging her to keep her top on. Tell her how you like seeing her nipples hard and straining against her shirt or lingerie. This will make her think she’s doing you a favor by not removing her top, and help her be less self-conscious at the same time.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #2: Performance Issues

She knows she’s not your first and sometimes, this thought gives rise to nagging performance issues between the sheets. How does she compare to all your other love interests? Well, put her fears to rest and make her focus on reaching her own orgasm by compliment her or whispering her name often while making love.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #3: Physical Pain

Not everything you read or see in X-rated films is what they’re made out to be. A seemingly hot sexual position may actually be causing her a physical discomfort and may not be sexually stimulating at all.

So pay attention to how she REALLY reacts when you try out new moves in bed. If sexual position is not the cause of any physical discomfort she feels, a visit to a doctor may be necessary.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #4: Past Negative Experiences

A bad experience with a former flame may also be inhibiting your woman to let go and enjoy the pleasures of sex with you. For instance, one woman had a former boyfriend confess to her that she smelled funny down there.

This bothered the woman so much that long after the boyfriend had gone, she has never allowed anyone to perform oral sex on her again. Worse, she was so focused on this ‘bad thing’ that sex altogether became unpleasant and she was starting to wonder if she was frigid.

If you notice anything like this with your woman, discuss it while re-assuring her all the while that you do like making love to her and that all you want to do is make her experience the same physical pleasures you’re experiencing. It’s worth the shot!

Lee Jenkins is the author of " The Female Orgasm Black Book," which shows you how to truly please the special woman in your life. Isn’t it time?

To find out more, visit the The Female Orgasm Black Book website. Read our review here.

So are you ready to get your kink on?

What will you need? Where are you going to get it? How crazy do you want to be?

This article will offer an interesting twist on classic BDSM items, as well as introduce you to a few new possibilities.

Hint: I’ve found a new use for four AA batteries, and the results have been spine-tingling.

Bondage in Aisle 5 - Hardware Stores Seen in a Whole New Light

It’s so funny – now that I’m into BDSM, the most innocent places spark sexually interesting ideas. We’re talking hardware stores, garden stores, pet stores… I used to have to be dragged into these places for sink parts and dog food, and now I like ducking into the rope aisle to see what colors or textures they have in stock.

I’ll whiz past the rawhide chews to see what kind of dog collars will fit a human-size neck. (“Does this come with a matching leash?”) Garden shops have hemp rope for binding trees – now come on, trees aren’t going anywhere, let’s put that rope to better use!

The Shopping List

In addition to your hands and mouth, here are some suggestions for your BDSM bag of tricks, one for every day of the week:

1. Ropes

Practice your reverse prayer, chest harness, and hog tie techniques with a variety of ropes – nylon, hemp, cotton. Rough, smooth, thick, silky, it’s fun to experiment and find out which works best for you. Not only can you restrain someone with rope, but you can fashion it into something as sexy as lingerie – highlight various parts of the body and turn it into an art form.

Fun tip: Apply a vibrator to a taut length of rope and feel the vibration spread…

Where you can find it: hardware, garden, army surplus store, online. Or steal it from the local boy scout troop.

2. Handcuffs

Metal cuffs are edgier and more painful, and lend an extra air of humiliation to your play session. It’s especially intense when they tighten up as you’re having sex, it’s like being bitten. I also like the smell of them - the oiled metal is hot.

Where you can find it: sex store, gun store, your friendly neighborhood police officer.

3. Clothes pins

Clothes pins should be renamed "nipple clamps." I mean, who uses them for hanging clothes these days? The inexpensive wooden clamps can be arranged in nice little rows along the curve of the torso or along the shoulder blades to make “angel wings.”

Where you can find it: grocery store, laundry aisle of retailer store, your old-fashioned neighbors clothesline.

4. Wartenberg Wheel

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Khiem and I are walking right now with Yakub, and we’re hanging out and doing what we call a “brainstorm day.” 

Well, actually they both goofed off on some weird internet sites for a little while which they didn’t share with me and they downloaded things to my Mac which sort of scares me a little bit, but at least I’ll have some fun entertainment when I get home.

But we were all hiking and talking, and they were asking me, “What are the secrets of how to get her to masturbate for you on the telephone?”

Now, I’ve been somebody who has absolutely enjoyed the benefits of phone sex even before women got to enjoy the benefits of the Blackberry-vibrating phone sex! How to get a woman to masturbate for you on the phone is really very simple.

Use what you know 

First, you have to call them late at night. Let’s say you’ve been emailing this woman back and forth. You’ve been flirting in emails back and forth, and maybe you’ve had a couple of phone conversations, and she tells you she’ll be around that night for you two to talk.

What you need to do in that email or text message is ask, “How late can I call you? I want you to be really cozy and comfortable when I call, so you’re not thinking anything about the day.” Then she’ll tell you how late you can call.

So then you call her that late – 11 o’clock at night. She’s in bed, she’s wearing her little jammies, and you start conversing with her. You talk to her about emotions, about anything that has to do with a deep topic. Because remember sex for a woman starts in her mind. You need to connect with her.

You can’t get on the phone with her and say, “So what are you wearing right now? Do you want to masturbate with me on the phone?” No! It’s about connecting.

Phone sex foreplay

Picture it as foreplay – or phoneplay! What you need to do is just talk to her a little bit, get to know her a little bit, make a comment on something you guys have shared together – maybe this is like the first or second phone call, and you’ve learned things about her.

Maybe she’s told you that she really loves deep conversations. You can say to her, “Man, I really love deep conversations with you. I love to get to know you better.  It’s so much fun. I’m enjoying exploring you. I’m enjoying penetrating your mind.” When you talk in very subliminal sexual ways, it will make her very sexually turned on.

Most guys make the biggest mistake: a woman is talking to you late at night, you’re having an emotional conversation and you’re connecting, and the guy will immediately ruin it by saying, “Are you wet right now?” Or “You know, my cock’s hard.  You want to feel it?"

You don’t want to say that! What you have to assume is that she’s already turned on. What I like to do is use very subliminal language. “I’m having so much fun connecting with you now.”  That’s foreplay in her mind. “I’m having a great time learning about you.” “Wow, I wish I was sitting right there with you right now, seeing your eyes during this conversation” That’s another thing to say to her…

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If you’re a female frustrated by not being able to orgasm through oral sex - especially if you used to be able to - you’re not alone. 

That probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but take heart in the fact that there are some things you can do to help solve the problem and once again climax through oral sex.

Here’s a question from a girl who is feeling incredibly frustrated by her inability to have an orgasm, even if her boyfriend tries for 45 minutes!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Any advise for WOMEN on receiving oral sex?  It seems to take longer and longer to reach an orgasm lately and quite often I get so frustrated that I lose the mood. I feel tense during oral sex and I’m sure that has something to do with it but I just don’t know how to make myself relax.

 

It used to be wonderful, but now I feel like it’s a waste of time. I feel bad for my fiancé who spent as much as 45 minutes there only for me to give up from frustration.  

 

PLEASE…. I need help here!  I WANT THAT FEELING BACK! Any advice?

 

– Amber,   North Carolina

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Ask yourself - can you still climax well by yourself?

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I have heard every type of sermon in 30 years time ranging from the typical foundational teachings to Dr. Seuss (if you can believe it) as a reference for deeper truths.

But the more typical subjects on sexual issues and relationship issues in the church and elsewhere range from marriage, single dating, and sex before or during marriage, abortion, and the dreaded gay and lesbian surge.

Sadly, there are other issues out there believers in Christ should be hearing from their pulpits. So permit this writer to expose some of those subjects because its high time believers and non-believers alike fight against such things for the sake of everyone on the planet. 

Why don’t we hear about rape? 

Why don’t we hear a preacher talk about how rape affects everyone? EVERYONE! According to Rape Abuse and Incest National Network 1 out of 6 women and 1 out of 33 men are raped in their lifetime. This leads to depression, suicide, and drug/alcohol abuse, not the pretty “sweet by and by” topics heard but something every believer and non-believer needs to hear about.

And the children, that’s a whole article in itself; incest and ministerial abuse is even as disgusting and falls under this category. There is also the topic of prison rape that is largely ignored by the best of minister (especially when dealing with prison ministries) 

If the church really wants to see healing of the body, mind, spirit, and soul then they need to deal with this topic head on. Until it is, thousands of men, women and children will keep in silence never finding healing or release for the things they’ve experienced. Anger, bitterness, rage, and deep hurt are issues that need the churches attention more than if two men or women live in loving relationships. 

Why don’t we hear about the international sex trade? 

Around the world the sex trade is so huge it is catastrophic to many families and friends. From families who can’t afford to keep their kids and give their kids away to the sex trade to women taken from villages from eastern and developing countries to satisfy the needs of their “clientele” this is a crime which needs a voice.

Where are the ministers in the world who will give these women (and men) a voice? Girls from preteens and older need someone to speak for them or they will be nothing more than objects in the hands of people who have no care for their welfare. 

Why do we not hear about adults with urges for sexual relationship with children?

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Strip clubs often get a bad rap. 

So many women know the feeling of aggravation and doubt when their man calls and says he’s "working late", taking his "client" to discuss some important business at his favorite strip club. Yeah, right, it’s just "for the client" or "for his boss". As if your man was dragged in that strip club against his will , kicking and screaming, while those bad, bad women were assaulting him with exotic and sexual lap dances. Poor him.

Of course anyone who complaints about a strip club for men has never been to one of the really wild strip clubs - the ones for women. Damn. And you thought the men got wild. Let’s just say some of these ladies in the audience would surprise you. But that’s another story.

While your man is "talking business" at his favorite strip club, all you can do is sit at home and brood, getting more and more mad by the minute. Wondering what he is or isn’t doing with those topless women hanging all over him. 

Here’s an idea…  Instead of sitting around complaining about the situation, getting yourself more and more frustrated, why not take the situation into your own hands. Take your man to a strip club, and enjoy the experience as a couple. No, you don’t have to go to a trashy one that only guys would enter. Pick a nice, upscale one. Yes, contrary to the societal perception, there are many upscale strip clubs that are perfectly safe and welcoming to women and couples. In fact, you’d be surprised to learn how many strip clubs are actually owned by women.

Fact is, most men find it incredibly sexy and arousing to have a beautiful woman perform that intimate strip dance for them. 

And here’s the big surprise. Most men don’t want some strange woman doing these exotic and intimate dances for them. They would love to see their woman, the girl they fell in love with - do it for them.

So why not take advantage of what you just learned, and do something that will bring you closer together? Give him what he wants, so he doesn’t have to go get it somewhere else. He’ll be so happy you took the initiative, and prepared something for him that you knew he’d love.

But where can a "good girl" learn how to strip tease and do a lap dance?

Well, you could start going to strip clubs and watching those girls, day after day… or you could take a class.

But we like to work smarter, not harder. In these days of the Internet and instant access to information, you don’t have to wait for your strip tease class to start in 3 months. You can download a live video, step by step course, that’ll teach your what you need to know BY THIS AFTERNOON. Sure you won’t get it all in 10 minutes, but you can know it TODAY…

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Janet Jackson got a bum rap! Or is that "boob" rap?

You remember the furor over Michael’s little sister and the infamous flash seen round the world at the Super Bowl a few years ago?

CBS is still trying to recover from the whole incident; it is also trying to recover some cash after the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) made their pockets light a few dollars over the entire affair.

Jackson has yet to recover from her "flash" in the pan, but amazingly Justin Timberlake’s career has skyrocket proclaiming to "bring sexy back." Right.

Should Women Be Allowed By Law To Show Their Breasts in Public?

Take the controversial poll at the end of this article to see where you fit in!

The old double standard at work 

I see a double standard here.

Timberlake can look good with his wet t-shirt photo on the Rolling Stones and no one even throws a stone at his bare chest image. Jackson shows one breast and you thought Western Civilization would crumble before our eyes. It is the breast that has kept many a child in our culture alive through their infant days.

It is the breast that is viewed as "dirty" and "unclean". It is time for our Western Culture to drop the double standard, get a grip at what is "dirty", and allow women everywhere the right to choose to let their breast free or not.

Breast gets such a bad rap sometimes as either visually distracting to men (and some women) or they treat women with smaller size breast with disregard. If you are a mother breast-feeding your child, then you are treated as if you are a topless dancer; if you are woman who chooses to flash your breast you can be charged with “indecent exposure” inciting a “riot” with their breast.

Guys can let their chest out for as long as they want without a question; women showing their breast out in public are treated with disregard over their choice of letting their girls out. Trust me, there are times I wonder if men and their breast size should put on a bra and over their mammary sacks up?

More of the double standard

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It’s a fact of life – some medications inhibit orgasm.  If you’re prescribed a medication that may do this, make sure you’re taking it for the right reasons and that you’re prepared to deal with the side effects.

Not being able to have an orgasm during sex because of a medication can be depressing, especially if there’s nothing you can do about it, but there are things you can do to lessen the blow. 

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I am on medication that doesn’t allow me to always have an orgasm. It does not interfere with my ability to maintain an erection. Sometimes way too long.

 

The fact I do not always have an orgasm upsets my wife. I have told her it is the medication and not her. She thinks that she is doing something wrong.

 

- Michael, Florida

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

How do I explain to my partner why I can’t orgasm?

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It’s an age old question. Does penis size really matter?

Certainly, it depends on who you ask. Some people prefer large penises and others prefer quite small ones.  The majority of people, however, agree that penis size is relative to the vagina.

If a penis fits the vagina, it really doesn’t matter how big it measures because, well . . . it fits!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

Does penis size really matter?

 

- Small Penis Guy, CA

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The Penis Size Controversy

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Having an orgasm doesn’t mean losing all control – it just means letting go. 

Still, some women find themselves incapable of having an orgasm or stopping one that is on the way – often because of emotional baggage that keeps them from releasing their inhibitions.

Therapy can help women work through their issues and build enough self confidence to start enjoying themselves sexually with a partner they trust.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,  

 

Hey there, I have a question that I’m embarrassed asking. I have had a series of bad boyfriends, hurtful, hateful relationships. The times I had sex with them I never got any pleasure and I have never had an orgasm. I have read that you lost control during orgasm. I do not wish to.

 

I have a new boyfriend He is so sweet and caring, and he cares about making me happy and giving me pleasure. But I cannot bring myself to let him make me cum. I always stop him the minute it starts to feel good. I know he is hurt. What can I do to make myself orgasm? How do I stop myself from stopping? What does it feel like? I’m a little confused.

 

-Sarah, Canterbury, New Zealand

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

Why Can’t I Let Go and Have An Orgasm With My Partner?

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Open marriages – are they always a bad idea?  Are they ever a good idea?  Every individual and every couple is different.  What an open marriage means to one couple may mean something entirely different to another.

Many things come into play when you start thinking about sharing your partner with someone else – and there’s lots of room for hurt feelings, jealousy and even feelings for the outside partner. 

How can you sort out whether or not having an open marriage is a good idea for you and your partner?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I’m married, have a child and pregnant with second. My husband introduce the idea of "Open Marriage”. I do not see signs of him cheating so this is not an excuse for him to seek affairs. I started to have straying thoughts lately, because of my unsatisfied sex life and a cute male co-worker. He is not the player type but he fell for me and he struggles like me.

 

If no one is happy in this situation, would the open marriage thing really be the cure? Is it worth it adjusting my personal views on open marriage? What do I do if I fall in love with the new guy but he is not as good as my husband in terms of being a dad? What do I say to my kids one day?

 

I feel so bad, and I don’t know what to do. Please help me.

 

– Jane, California

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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How to know if an open marriage is right for you

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So you thought it went really well. You lavished her attention and ensured she reached her climax first before you did. So why doesn’t she want to ‘hook up’ with you again? Chances are, you committed one of the three mistakes that most men do after having sex.

While men are often only concerned about what occurs DURING sex, women are bit more complicated; they also put attention (A LOT of attention) on what occurs after sex.

If you’ve never really picked up on this before, then chances are you’ve committed one of the following mistakes.

After-Sex Mistake #1: Rolling over after reaching an orgasm and going to sleep.

You may think that this is ‘natural.’ After all, didn’t you just have a long day at work and didn’t you just cater to fulfilling her sexual needs first before yours? But to your partner, dozing off right away means only one thing: insensitivity.

In fact, most women will think this way, "now that he’s had his way with me, he’s done and just wants to sleep!".

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really sleepy after sex? Simply snuggle up to her and cuddle up a bit. You can stroke her hair too. (Better actually, as this may make HER sleepy!).

After-Sex Mistake #2: Jumping out of bed and doing something else.

If sleeping immediately after sex shows you’re insensitive, jumping out of bed and putting all your attention into doing something else (e.g., work!) means you’re a real jerk to her.

For yourself, you may just feel so energized after cumming that you want to do other things, but to her jumping out of bed right after sex indicates that the time you two had was irrelevant. It wasn’t lovemaking; it was just sex.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really NEED to do something? Just stay a bit longer in bed. A couple more minutes surely won’t kill you! You can simply embrace her and be quiet, or cuddle and (for me the better option) start to slowly mention that darn! you forgot to do something and now you have to get up now and do it. Do this grudgingly!

After-Sex Mistake #3: Reaching for the remote, turning on the TV, and forgetting she’s beside you.

You can’t fake intimacy. Does this mean you can’t ever turn on the TV after having sex? Of course not! In fact, SHE may even want to catch something on TV herself.

But the thing is, don’t break contact. You can just as easily reach for the remote while ensuring that you’re still embracing her, right? Further, a simple question of "do you mind?" can go a long way than simply ignoring her and watching TV!

Just don’t forget to include her. Ask her if she wants to see something too or ask for her comment on what you’re watching. Anything that signifies you haven’t forgotten that she’s beside you is good.

Lee Jenkins is the author of " The Female Orgasm Black Book," which shows you how to truly please the special woman in your life. Isn’t it time?

To find out more, visit the The Female Orgasm Black Book website. Read our review here.

A woman has the ability to have more than one orgasm in a day or even more than one orgasm per sexual episode – sometimes one right after the other.

Many people believe that this is something gender exclusive and that men can’t achieve the same experience – but is that really true? 

We’re going to take a look at both the physical – and social – boundaries that might (or might not) be keeping men from having more than one big O.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

There are many drugs out there to keep a man arouse, my husband doesn’t have this problem…

 

Are there drugs out there to help him have multi-orgasms?
(speaking about more than 1 per day.. not necessarily more than once per ‘event’).

 

- Jenn, Georgia

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.
 

Think men can’t orgasm more than once? Think again!

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