It Raises Your Expectations A Little Too High

Porn is the equivalency of fantasy. When you start watching it, it is very easy to fall into the trap of living out your sexual fantasies through the characters in the movie. Lusting after porn stars that are willing to do anything can easily be detrimental to relationship that you have been in for a while or a relationship that might just be starting out. When your partner sees women that have an insatiable appetite for sex, it can put a lot of pressure into the relationship.

Guys who are single can also expect new lovers to try different positions or activities based on the adult movies they have watched. This expectation for a lover to live up to the porn stars in the movies can also create tension that would not have been there otherwise. The reality is that most women do not have the libido that men have. Not all women are shaped to the way that they are in pornography.

When men watch too much porn, they can easily push women into doing things that they do not feel comfortable with. They can also start to believe that certain sex acts are universally loved by all women.

It Desensitizes You To Sex

Porn can easily desensitize you to actual sex, leaving you with an unsatisfying feeling when you have real sex. Sex is not about getting off as hard or as fast as you can. Sex should be about the love between two consenting adults. The problem with pornography is that it will subconsciously leave you with a feeling of wanting more. This can easily turn into a vicious cycle to lowers the amount of pleasure that you feel when you are not only watching porn, having sex in real life.

If you have been watching it for a long time, you will start to see just how desensitized you have become. A video that got you really turned on two years ago may not do it for you now. Before there were things like the Internet, guys had to rely on things such as magazines or old-school pinup pictures of women. Now that the Internet is a full-fledged information machine and you can basically watch any kind of movie you want after just a few clicks, the desensitization can easily get out of control.

Porn Objectifies Women

Probably the worst thing about the adult industry is that it caters to men by objectifying women. Although there are videos that show women in control, they are not in control because of their mind or because of their physical abilities. They use their sexuality to get what they want. Pornography turns women into things that are pretty much there to satisfy the man’s sexual urge. Women should be loved because of who they are and not because of what they can provide a man sexually.

It’s Easy To Become Addicted To It

Because of all of these reasons, porn can easily become addicting. Anything that offers instant gratification can become addicting, however, pornography is becoming more and more accessible. With the invention of mobile internet, a lot of porno websites are starting to launch mobile versions of their site. While this can be great for mobile commerce, this can lead to temptation for men finding it hard to resist their addictions.

Porn is a different beast than alcohol or drugs. Porn is not illegal if you are of age. It is not even bad for the body in a physical sense, so it’s hard to regulate this for the normal male. Watching too much porn can lead to porn addiction when masturbating.

Porn, like alcohol or sweets, can be fun and harmless in small doses. However, if you start to go overboard, you might find it difficult to form a healthy relationship with a woman who is not as kinky as you. Talk with your partner or any potential partners about their views on the subject before you expose them to the kind of porn that you like.

Yes, it is typically the sign that of a “job well done,” but did you know that there is way more behind the male orgasm? For example, sometimes a man can have two orgasms in one, meaning that he feels that release sensation at the beginning of climax and then feels a sudden burst of pleasure at the end. Sometimes, a man can have an orgasm and not ejaculate at all while other times, he can ejaculate and not feel a thing. Now that you are aware that you might not have all of the signals down pat, how do you know if you have given him amazing pleasure?

There is one way to guarantee that you are giving your man satisfaction and showing him that you know your way around the male body and that is to give him total body sex. This means that you just aren’t going to go for the gold and head straight to his penis to make him orgasm. No, you are better than that. Instead, you are going to learn how to please a man from head to toe and to really give him an all over amazing sensation that he won’t soon forget.

Above The Neck

There are many spot on a man’s head that can really get him going in the bedroom. Obviously you have his eyes to attract by wearing something sexy, his nose by wearing some delicious scent and his lips to give him passionate kisses to send chills all throughout his body but there is so much more. For example, kissing on his ears, his neck, scratching his scalp, digging your nails into the back of his neck and so on are all things that contribute to pleasure.

Even using your fingers on his lips will get him going. Try biting on his lips or even grazing them with your fingertips. Anything that you can do that will tease and tantalize him is definitely the way to go.

Torso And Arms

The obvious hot spots on a man’s torso are his nipples but stay away from that. Those are the typical spots that he is used to having stimulated by you and are you a typical lover? Of course not! You want to kick this up a notch and truly show him that you know how to give him total body sex all the way from his head and down to his itty bitty toes.

Instead of going for the nipples, try stimulating his back and stomach. Kissing on his back or stomach and even using your nails to scratch all the way down will give him some amazing satisfaction. Remember that men love that rough stimulation so the rougher it is, the better. Also, don’t forget about his arms. Using your fingers and nails to trace along his forearms will give him a sensation he probably never knew he had. The skin is extra thin on his forearms so feeling your nails digging deep will definitely drive him wild.

Don’t forget about his fingers either. A super sexy tip to try is to suck on his fingers to mimic oral sex. Feeling those warm and wet lips of yours tracing along his fingers will make him desperately want to feel that warm mouth on another part of his body.

Thighs And Legs

We all know how amazing it feels to have a man kiss our inner thighs and before oral sex. This move may be a bit too sensitive for your man to handle but that doesn’t mean that you can’t give him stimulation there in a different way. Again, your fingers and nails are capable of so much pleasure it is insane. Digging your nails deep into his thighs will drive him wild because not only is the skin sensitive there but it is also so close to his penis and the closer you are without touching it, the more you are going to drive him absolutely wild.

The best part about giving your man total body sex is that there are no rules. You don’t necessarily have to start from head to toe. You can always mix and match these tips to suit whatever your man’s needs might be in that moment. You can do a lot to him or a little; it is up to you. You are in the driver’s seat when you are pleasing him and it is all up to you how close to the edge you want to take him tonight.

Related articles:

1. How To Please A Man From Head To Toe!
2. 3 Mistakes From How to Give Head Videos: Sex Lessons To Learn From Adult Videos About Giving Head
3. Erotic Massage: Melt Her Tension With A Head And Face Rub
4. 4 Mistakes On How To Give Head To A Guy
5. Blowjob Tips For Guys – Do You Put Your Hands On Her Head Or Not?

Get Comfortable With It

For a lot of people, even in this day and age, with a media saturated in sexual imagery, sex can be incredibly uncomfortable to discuss. Even with our most intimate partners. Especially when unsatisfied, your wife may not be articulating what she wants or needs sexually, as she’s afraid of hurting your feelings.

Before you start the conversation, you need to get comfortable saying the words associated with sex – penis, vagina, clitoris, G-Spot, orgasm, lubrication and intercourse. Say them out loud, somewhere private, and just get comfortable with the sound of them in your mouth. When you can say them to yourself without blushing, you are ready to say them to the person you love.

Take The Initiative

In order to open her up, you need to take the first step. If she feels like you are grilling her with some kind of sexual interview, she may retreat. Instead, you need to spend some time – days, maybe even weeks – communicating to her how important her sexual satisfaction and overall pleasure is for you.

When she knows that any helpful tips, comments or critiques she gives you will be accepted as a gift, she can feel as if she is giving them to you, instead of that she is burdening you with them. When she is ready to divulge information about her sexual preferences, don’t take in a list of questions and read it off like an interview. Go in having already thought about what you want to know about her, and take the time to volunteer some of the same information about yourself to encourage her when you start out.

Take care to be positive and gentle when talking about her sexual performance. Tell her what she already does that you like!

Make A Deal

No accusations, no judgments, no huffy remarks or pouty lips; it’s time to sit down and have that chat. Sexpert Tracey Cox suggests three things to remember when it comes time for open and honest communication about your sex life:

First, take the time to figure out what it is you want, and be very specific. You know that you aren’t satisfied with your sex life, and you probably figure your wife isn’t either. Do you want to know how to please her better? Do you want more sex? How much more, and what kind? Do you need to have more orgasms, or do you want to opportunity to touch her more often? Do you want to have sex more in the morning, or during the daylight hours? Are you interested in trying more new things, or is there something you know that you like, that you want to do more often?

Second, how much information do you really want from her? Do you want details of past lovers and how they touched her? Are you prepared to hear about any difficult or shocking experiences? It is important to know how many details you are willing to divulge as well. Tell her how much you are willing to hear, and let her do the same.

Finally, agree that “no” means “no more.” Whether it’s just the sexual conversation, or time to try things out, it is important to have a clear understanding that either of you can say “I’m sorry, that technique (or role play, or sex position) isn’t working” or “Hey, I need a break to collect my thoughts” if things aren’t going quite the way you anticipated.

It can be a bit overwhelming when you try to get into the details, which is why you should think about it for a while before you sit down to talk. Furthermore, you should give your wife the chance to think about it as well. When you sit down to make your deal, take the time to discuss what you really want to know about each other.

Perhaps you have already taken a look at your local sex shop, or at online stores to see what the selection is like. I bet you were taken aback! Heck, my sex toy store has over a thousand different products in the lubrication category!

That is a whole lot of choice, so let’s take a minute and talk about your options. Lubricants can easily be broken down into a few categories based on ingredients.

First, the “base” of the lubricant determines how they can be used – silicone lube, for example, can’t be used with silicone toys; oil-based lubricant is not safe for use with condoms; some women are incredibly sensitive and will only be able to use lubes that are based on natural, organic ingredients.

Next, there are lubes that are best for anal sex, others that heat up or cool down, and even some with special flavors just for oral. Be sure you know what you’re getting into before going on a shopping spree.

Oil & Water

Oil based lubricants are great, especially natural ones, because the body just soaks them up and gets silky smooth. Most oil-based lubricants, unless otherwise labeled, are not condom safe. If this is your choice of birth control, move on to another selection.

Water based lubricants are the best all-around choice. Not only are they safe for condoms, but with silicone and other toys as well. They are also easy to wash out of sheets and clothing. They do tend to evaporate quickly, but a bit of saliva or a light mist of cool water will slick them back up in no time.

Silicone

Silicone-based lubricants are smooth like silk and great for long lasting play, but are no good when using silicone toys and not great for oral sex. Silicone may not taste very good, but you only need a touch and it will last for hours. It is safe to use with condoms, so if you do have silicone toys, you can protect them with a latex condom or nitrile glove. If you are planning to try a bit of back door play, pick one that is nice and thick.

Au Natural

If your wife or girlfriend is particularly concerned about what kind of liquid love gets inside her body, or if she happens to be sensitive to parabens or other irritating ingredients in most popular lubes, you should take advantage of the growing array of natural and organic products for the conscientious buyer. If plain coconut oil won’t do, or you want something a bit slicker for longer play, these are right up your alley.

Hot, Cold And Delicious

Whether you want something that is going to warm up with some vigorous thrusting, or a bit of icy gel to get her clitoris tingling under your touch and tongue, there are options available for your delight! Tingling lubricants and gels are also great for nipple play, especially if they are edible. They will help to harden her nipples right up, making them extra sensitive to your mouth and fingers, and also give them a bit of a slippery surface for extra sensation.

Flavored lubes are obviously best for a bit of oral play, but be very careful. Many of these lubes contain irritants or sugars that can cause a yeast infection if they get inside her vagina, so if you use them on her genitals, be sure to only put a drop on her clitoris and keep your fingers clean for insertion when your tongue techniques have made her wet.

Create A Simple Environment

Your first date with a woman should be in a quiet place where you can communicate one on one. This is the time to prove that you’re a catch. You need to project this by successfully flirting with her.

DON’T FORGET: Just because the woman has committed to a first date doesn’t mean she’ll become your girlfriend. Some guys “go weird” once women decide to have a first date. Realize that there’s a big different between getting a first date and a second date. You need to leave a darn good impression. The best dates for first dates are:

•  Coffee shops
• Bars / Lounges

Your first date is not a job interview. You don’t need to know all the demographics about your date, and she doesn’t need to know all that stuff about you either. Save that stuff for when she really likes you. When she bugs and begs you to answer this type of question, you’ll know she’s interested.

There are many interesting areas of conversation you should focus on; likewise there are also some topics you should never talk about during early dates.

Good Topics To Use

The best way to make a woman feel comfortable and close is to get her to share experiences and information about herself. Ask about her passions, dream-life, and what she wanted to be when she was a little girl. Talk about current TV shows, Hollywood gossip, and anything in the entertainment industry. Don’t forget to throw in some playful teasing behavior during the dates to keep the interaction interesting.

REMEMBER: If you get too caught up in facts you’ll certainly come across as boring. You’re in complete control over what you talk about, so make it interesting. If you do talk about factual stuff, spice it up with things like, “You’re such a dork,” “I’m watching you missy,” or “You know I have eyes in the back of my head. I can see everything.”

Deadly Topics

Politics, propaganda, religion and negative experiences such as deaths, ex-partners or the state of the world are all topics you want to stay away from. People associate the time they’ve had with someone to the feelings they experienced during their time together. If you’ve spoken excessively about topics that have no hope of being humorous, you’re in trouble.

If you find yourself moving into one of these directions just say, “Let’s talk about (insert new topic),” then quickly interject, using one of the topics above to save yourself from a depressing date\. Don’t say, “Can we please change the subject,” just go ahead and talk about something more fun. You’re the leader, so make sure you guide the conversation in a positive direction.

Maybe not as much when brittle bones and cardiac complications set in, but it will always be an element of your existence. Whether it’s vicarious sex or a simple interlocking of hands with your wife of 50 years, sex takes a whole lifetime to appreciate.

The Good News – Sex Gets Better With Age

Like wine, huh?

You get good at it the more you do it. You’ll soon master its in’s & outs and will be able to calibrate your woman down to the most minuscule detail. Similarly, she’ll also master you, discovering how you want booty served. As you two get to know each other, sex will spiral up.

Really?! Then why do people tend to spiral the other way?

For many couples, this is what happens: Sex was good, no, it was GREAT! They made love like the gods. They were Energizer bunnies who just won’t stop. They thought the passion would last forever… but nobody’s falling for that now.

That was yesterday, viewed through rose-colored glasses. Today, sex (with that same old hag) has become boring – almost a drudgery. All they have are memories of what has been…and they are just 27 years old!

What’s up with that? If sex is supposed to get better over time, then why end up in a rut where it has become soulless, dead, ho-hum and unexciting?

It’s Only Up To A Point

Beyond an optimum point, things start going downhill. The body cannot realistically maintain levels of brain chemistry that cause passion to wax hot. The Law of Averages dictates that over time, all things come back and plateau on the average. Passion has to simmer down when the novelty of sex ceases. If it’s all the same – same partner, same set of breasts, same sexual positions, same moans – sex will definitely get old.

Chances are, a day will come when you’d rather sleep than make-love to that fat ogre beside you. There’s no set time, but it’ll definitely happen. You’ll feel it, she’ll feel it, you two will definitely feel it. When you hear things like, “I’m just not as horny as I used to be,” you’re getting there.

But that’s okay. Things getting old is fine, that’s life. Nothing is wrong with the idea of sex losing its charm, it’s your response to this new sexual dynamic that needs tweaking.

New Challenges Await You

Recognize that when this “up to a point” comes, it only means A NEW STAGE IN YOUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ACHIEVED. This brings with it a new set of challenges and it’s important that you appropriately respond to them. It doesn’t mean your run is over, you don’t need to swear off sex altogether.

Whereas the challenge in the past was getting home in the least amount of time, your new challenge could be finding new and exciting ideas to bring into bed.

And that takes work, a lot of work. Not manual labor, but brain power. You need to don your creative hat for this. And for many people, the very idea of honing creativity for sexual purposes is just too much, they’d rather find someone else new. But in committed, long-term relationships, it’s not that simple – or wise.

Morning Sex

Morning sex. I’m not talking after breakfast, or after dropping the kids off. I’m talking about first thing in the morning. Or earlier. We all know that there’s no wood like morning wood. Even if your lover is normally harder than Chinese arithmetic at all times, he will still be at his hardest and most potent when his little man wakes up to greet the day.

Often his member will wake up before he does. This is awesome. Fuck his brains out, whether or not he’s fully awake. Hop on and get off. He will wake up and join the party. Even if he doesn’t, he will wake up with a smile on his face.

He will probably last longer than any other time during the day, so be prepared. This can mean multiple orgasms for you. If you’re only in the mood for a quickie, get yourself warmed up with vibrators and or masturbation before you have sex with him.

Finishing Off With Oral Sex

Make sure to finish him off with some really great oral sex if you go the quickie route, and of course, put a condom on his penis if you engage in anal sex, for obvious reasons. If he’s still asleep when you bring him to orgasm, try taking his load in your mouth (or on your face if you’re into facials) and then waking him up, letting him see his semen all over your face or in your mouth. Waking up to a woman who’s got your load in your mouth is hot. Watching her swallow after she’s had her way with you is just plain sexy, and is a really, really great way to start the day.

Did you know that’s how Einstein started each and every day? Who knows where we would be as a society if he hadn’t had morning sex before he even got out of bed to start the day. I shudder to think about it.

He Can Service You Too!

It can work both ways too. There’s nothing wrong with him starting the day by servicing his lady (or his dude, whatever you’re into). If you start the day with a roll in the hay, you’ve put yourself in a really great position to have the best possible day, and a stress free one. It’s really hard to get upset when your brain has been scrambled by all those sexually released chemicals. You might not cut someone off on the way to work, or you might be a little more relaxed when you go to Starbucks and you spend twenty minutes behind a person, only to watch in horror as they finally get up to the counter and still haven’t figured out what they want!

You do each other every morning and you’ll notice a huge difference in your life. It will lower your stress levels, get you going, in a good way and you’ll probably find that you really appreciate your partner more and before you know it that increased physical intimacy will lead to increased emotional intimacy.

Sex is like the canary in the well of your relationship. If that’s wild and passionate and frequent, your relationship is in really good shape. If it’s dull, boring and infrequent, well, that’s not so good.

Do It Even When You Don’t Want To

My advice is molest your partner early every morning regardless of whether or not you want to. This is especially true and important for people who have kids. I’m not in the mood, you say? Well, I hate to break it to you, but women have been having sex without wanting to or being in the mood for centuries and nobody died from that. So just do it, even if you don’t think you want to. You will be really glad you did after you’re done having oral sex, anal sex, plain old missionary style intercourse or whatever you’re into. You’re welcome.

But before you start considering a serious relationship with that stunner you met last night at the club—or God forbid, marrying one of these women—I want to tell you that many of the negative cliches about strippers are true. While this may sound harsh and certainly not all exotic dancers fall into these stereotypes, you have to accept that when dating a stripper that more often than not the reality behind the fantasy is often more trouble than it’s worth. Again, I’m not saying that all strippers are this way, but if you hang out in this scene for a while, as I have, you’re going to notice similarities among many of them.

What Your Relationship Will Entail

Your relationship with a stripper will probably involve a lot of drama, dishonesty and a complete disregard for sobriety. You’ll have to contend with all the other guys (including her regular customers) who want to fuck your girlfriend and want to get you out of the picture. But then there’s the nights of wild partying, the incredible sex, and the awesome ego boost you get from having sex with a stripper!

This is their lifestyle. No matter what they might say, stripping is more than a job: it’s a lifestyle. These chicks are working all night long, six or seven nights a week, and drinking and possibly using drugs whenever they work. Nearly all strippers at least drink booze on a nightly basis, since it helps them loosen up, shed their inhibitions, and “bond” with customers. (No customer likes it when his stripper orders a $7 orange juice—he wants to think he’s getting her buzzed and making her more vulnerable to his “charms.”)

With this grueling nightly routine, there’s little time for these chicks to get anything else done. They wake up in the afternoon and start getting ready to report back to the club. After a while, the thought of waking up at 8am and going to a “regular” job—and making a regular, taxed income—becomes totally unrealistic. Fundamentally, these women are lazy. If you’re an educated, career-minded guy, it will be impossible for you to relate to their daily routine and how little they get accomplished. And you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re going to start dating a hardcore pro and turn her into a productive member of society.

What Happens If You Want Her To Quit Dancing

If you start dating her and have her quit working, she’ll probably wake up in the afternoon and lounge around your house in her sweats. Or, maybe she’ll roll out with your credit card to do some shopping. But don’t think for a minute that she’s going to update her resume and use this opportunity to go after her dream job.

Many Strippers Will Lie

Just in order to be a stripper and mentally accept what they’re doing for a living, they have to lie to themselves. They tell themselves, “I’m only doing this for a limited amount of time—until I pay off my debts/straighten out my life/settle down with the right guy/etc.” They’ll constantly repeat this lie to their friends and family (or, lie about what they do for a living altogether).

If they’ve managed to con themselves, conning you is hardly going to be a stretch. Strippers who’ve been in “the game” for a while seem to develop an allergy to telling the truth. If you try to date a stripper, get ready to deal with a level of flakiness you’ve never encountered before. Phone calls will go unreturned for days. She’ll break appointments with you at the last minute, for ridiculous reasons. She’ll need to borrow money, even though you know she’s hauling down a ton of cash at the club. She’ll make up lies to cover her mistakes and inconsistent behavior, even though just telling you the truth would make things so much easier.

Many Of Them Are Single Mothers

You’ll also find that a lot of strippers, despite their seemingly flawless bodies, are single moms. The fathers of these kids are long gone (or serving prison sentences). Again, this is a result of being with some idiot ex-boyfriend, who got her pregnant and then split. I once had a relationship with a dancer who had a five-year-old daughter. Personally, if I’m dating a stripper, my rule is that I don’t even want to meet her kid. I’m sure her daughter was cute and sweet and wonderful, but I didn’t want to get involved—and I sure as hell wasn’t going to get on the hook financially.

I did this for the child’s sake, really. I figure the kid has enough issues to deal with, having a stripper for a mom and no father, without me coming into her life, forming a bond with her and acting like her surrogate father, and then bailing (just like her father did). I suppose if you get into a serious relationship with a stripper, you’re going to have to get involved with the child and be a father figure. You might actually find joy in that. I’ve known relationships like this that worked out. Personally, I’m not interested in marrying a stripper, and I know that each relationship is going to eventually fall apart. Therefore, I keep the kids out of the picture.

What To Do To Make It Work

If you do wind up getting into a relationship with a dancer, you’ve also got to be prepared to deal with how she makes her living. Jealousy often becomes a destructive factor. Only two types of men have no problem whatsoever being a stripper’s boyfriend. The first type of guy is confident enough in himself, and in the relationship, to know that her job is exactly that—a JOB. Usually, this type of guy has hung around enough strip clubs, and known enough dancers, to understand that it’s work to them and that the “flirting” with customers is an act.

(With my ex, when she went to work, we’d joke about her “going to the ATM machine.” She’d go to the club, milk the suckers for $1,000, then we’d meet up at a bar afterwards and have a great time.)

This type of guy also keeps his girlfriend’s lifestyle in check. He doesn’t accept her irresponsible flakiness. And she doesn’t work every night and sleep all day, because they both want to spend time together as a couple.

(For every 10 strippers that lead reckless fast-lane lifestyles, you’ll find one or two that actually have their heads straightened out and really are just working at the strip club on their way to other things.)

The second type of guy is letting his dancer girlfriend pay the bills. She brings home the bacon, so he’s in no position to complain about her job. He doesn’t want to lose his meal ticket. (Otherwise, how would be able to afford high-quality marijuana and equipment for his rock band?)

If you do wind up dating a dancer, always be in the first category!

Some Other Things To Keep In Mind

Another rule of dating dancers is that you shouldn’t hang around her club while she’s working. This can only create problems. She’s going to feel uncomfortable if you’re watching her flirt with other customers, which will hinder her ability to make money. No matter how cool you are with her, and what she does for a living, steer clear of the club while she’s working. Respect it as her work space.

Setting some ground rules can help, such as asking her to come home directly after her shift and holding her to it. In Las Vegas, however, the strip clubs stay open 24 hours. Her shift might technically end at 1am, but if she’s with a customer who’s shelling out for dance after dance, she’s going to stay with him until he’s ready to leave (or until his money runs out, whichever comes first). It’s part of dancer protocol: as long as the customer is spending money, it’s inappropriate for them to “clock out” and tell the customer they’re going home.

If this becomes a serious problem for you, just end the relationship and move on the next.

So What’s Your Thing?

It’s this one fetish you’ve been dreaming of since teenhood. Ever since you realized your penis’ calling, you couldn’t wait for that day when you could finally share this unique sexual activity with someone. You’re certain it’s going to be great, and you’ve been playing it in your head over and over – for hours each night. That’s your THING.

Now, you’ve grown up, and the stage is set. You have your own place and a gorgeous adoring woman. You’ve waited for this all your life – it’s finally going to happen – but she says, “I’m sorry honey, but I don’t do that!”

These were the last words you heard before all your dreams came crashing down. If you listen closely, you’ll hear the quaint sound of your heart breaking into a million shiny pieces.

“But why? It’s gonna be fun,” you tempted.

“I don’t know, I just don’t wanna,” the prude answered.

You threatened legal action, physical repercussions, yes, even groveled, but still came out empty. For the life of you, you can’t convince your lover that it’s going to be okay. She just doesn’t see herself doing that thing with you – nope, not in this lifetime.

So, what’s left to do?

Before hanging the gloves in desperation, here are 3 practical things to do.

1. Find Out If Its Negotiable

Your thing could easily come in conflict with her self-image – she just doesn’t see herself that way. The fetish could be so beyond her boundaries as a sexual being, the moment she heard of it, it made her butt cheeks clinch ever so tightly.

Or, maybe it’s not her, maybe it’s you. Maybe you’ve just been watching too much porn and your erotic expectations are drastically skewed or out of sync. Perhaps what you’re suggesting is so out of this world, 99% of women will say “Nuh-uh,” while dragging you to the Psych Ward.

But granted, the thing, even though it conflicts with her self-image, is a reasonable activity for normal human beings, you need to ask one vital question: IS IT STILL NEGOTIABLE? (You have to give an honest answer to this.)

It may not be how she sees herself presently, but, is it negotiable? Can you possibly tempt her into it? Women have very flexible self-images. They think and say they can’t or won’t, initially allergic even to the very thought of kinky sex. This is usually just their default answer to novel stuff and things outside their comfort zones.

But given proper prodding, they’ll come around and turn out to be wonderful freaks in bed. It’s true, you can get a girl who is very anti anal sex to really love it! But you have to sense if the “NO” is negotiable, or if it’s something driven deep in her core values, solid and totally non-negotiable.

If it’s non-negotiable, then MOVE ON, GET OVER IT, don’t force the issue. She has every right to say “no.” Just because she’s in an intimate relationship with you doesn’t diminish that right a tiny bit.

But if you think there’s a sliver of possibility, then continue with #2. Answer this very important question -

2. What’s In It For Her?

Look at things from your lover’s point of view, what good will your “thing” bring her?

Of course, she can simply accommodate her man’s eccentric and kinky fantasies, but what good will it bring her personally? And don’t just say, “It’s gonna be fun!” You need more than that. Because if she just wants fun, she can turn to a million other things.

“What’s in it for her?” This is what sales savants constantly ask themselves. Only when you take the buyer’s perspective and slide your feet into her shoes, will you be able to understand how to sell it to a woman.

I don’t want to know whatever your thing is, it’s your thing. But basically, you are the seller, she is the unwitting shopper. Don’t sell by declaring, “Do this so I can check it off my list of things to do before I die.” That means nothing to her! If you want “Message Received” blinking in her head, you have to sell it from the opposite perspective.

By looking through her eyes, you can make your thing very inviting and alluring. Package it so she’s poised to gain something from the experience, not as if she’s merely accommodating another one of your whims. Make her engage in it for her own sake. Make it unique and serve it up as a challenge or something new both of you can try. Make sure to give her a climax when she engages in the activity with you. Only then can you finish off with the “It’s gonna be fun” icing.

And you know you’ve done well when she becomes more rabid about it than you.

Here’s the thing. On some level, your girl knows exactly what you’re doing. She knows you’re tempting her, so don’t treat her like some gullible 6-year old. Women are not naïve. They sense these things, so level with them.

And ultimately, leave the decision to her.

3. Know When To Stop

Groveling & begging is not and will never be an option!

Begging? Are you kidding me?! You’re the one with the goods here. Why would you resort to groveling just to be given a shot? To me, it doesn’t make an iota of sense. It’s like a billionaire pointing a gun to some homeless guy’s head, threatening to kill the poor soul if he doesn’t take off with his briefcase of cash.

I repeat, DO NOT GROVEL OR BEG FOR YOUR THING. Honestly, in the past, when has groveling helped your cause or resulted into an amazing time? The best you get out of it is pity & accommodation – which by the way, rapidly comes in short supply.

You can’t get everything through After talk, for one can never out-talk or out-argue a woman who has already made up her mind. Your case cannot be pleaded with wit or logic, unless you can fashion a paradigm shifting speech.

The more you push for your thing, the more she’ll push back – so the more passionate you are about it, the stronger her resistance becomes. This is a negative spiral that you never should get into.

Her saying “No” doesn’t mean the end of things. A verbal “No” in Aftertalk can be adjusted, modified, even reversed during the sex itself. I’m not saying that her words don’t hold water, I’m saying they can be massaged into something else.

The palatability of stuff becomes very different when a woman is in the heat of things. While talking, which usually involves the thinking brain, she can very easily say “NO.” But when she’s in the heat of the moment, enveloped with the orgasm rush, her emotional brain, which knows very few rules, takes over and gets with the flow.

(When talk doesn’t help, go work for your thing during the sex itself. Yes, you can smoothly introduce your woman to kinky stuff she initially said “no” to. So you can then tell her, “See, I told you it would be fun!”)

Humming Rotating Tongue

Most men resort to a type of licking motion when performing oral sex on a woman, however, its the movement of the tongue which matters when it comes to helping her achieve orgasm. Have you ever watched a dog drink water out of its bowl? If so, then you’ve seen the short, fast movement of its tongue in the water. That’s the type of movement you can imitate during oral sex.

If your partner enjoys the way a vibrator makes her feel inside, then you can turn your mouth into a vibrator during oral sex just by humming. You can try humming an actual tune or just maintaining a single pitch. Either way the vibration in your mouth and jaw will be transferred into her pelvic region and her clitoris. This technique may be especially useful if your partner’s not quite aroused enough for direct clitoral stimulation.

Because she receives quick jolts of pleasure interrupted by a brief moment of no stimulation, its almost as if you are teasing her and this is going to increase her sexual tension and help her build towards the climax. When she is nearing that point, however, you may need to switch to a technique that provides more continuous stimulation.

Face Straddle

Another trick to try when it comes to oral sex is having your partner straddle your face. While she straddles, your mouth and your tongue are going to work on her clitoris. You can also have your hands on her hips and move her body in a circular motion or in the diamond-shape we discussed earlier. This will add even greater stimulation and may make her reach orgasm faster and harder.

Some women love circular stimulation. That’s why grinding into your partner during vaginal intercourse can often bring her to orgasm. During oral sex, you can use the same trick with your tongue. Move your tongue around her vagina or around her clitoris in a rotating motion. Start slowly, and then begin to move faster as her pleasure builds.

Toys & Cunnilingus

Even though oral sex provides some women with orgasms, some report that these orgasms are not as fulfilling because they are not accompanied by that sense of fullness provided by the penetration of your penis in their vagina. To alleviate that problem and to even improve the odds of attaining an orgasm, you can use a dildo or a vibrator on your partner at the same time you are performing oral sex. If you don’t want to share her vagina with a toy, use a vibrator designed for anal stimulation instead.

Oral Sex & Popsicles

Popsicles may be the most perfect edible sex toy. Not only are they an ideal shape, but also the handle makes them easier to use than bananas or other items. Take a popsicle in your favorite flavor and gently insert it inside your partner’s vagina as if it were a dildo or vibrator. The coldness of it inside the warmth of her body is going to send chills through her body and definitely kick her arousal up a notch.

You can either thrust the popsicle gently in and out of her body, or you can use the tip to rub circles around her clitoris. When most of the popsicle has melted, its your turn to use your tongue to lick up all of the melted sweetness.

Sixty-Nine

Most people have heard of this sexual position but not as many have tried it, even though it provides both you and your partner with an ideal method of achieving orgasm. For those of you who are not familiar, this position would involve you performing oral sex on your partner while she is doing the same to you. Some couples prefer to use this technique in a side-to-side position while others prefer one partner to be one top of the other.

Either way, your biggest problem is going to be staying focused on pleasing your woman while you are being pleasured. This can be a tremendous distraction and often sixty-nine sessions end with the man climaxing before the woman even has a chance. This possibility can be reduced if she is sufficiently aroused before you get started.

Teasing women about their beauty is the most powerful way to lower their initial defenses and attract them. You’ve only got two minutes to impress a woman and make yourself stand out as somebody unique.

Understand that these beautiful women only want men with high standards.

How To Use This Strange Teasing Method To Your Advantage

OBJECTIVE: To show the woman you’re not easily impressed by “physical beauty” like other guys. You have higher standards.

By teasing the woman you’re making her compete in order to try to meet your standards. Teasing tells the woman she’s failing to reach your high standards and needs to work harder. Understand that these comments work best on “super hot” (over-confident) women.

Naturally, these are the women most guys are attracted to. If a woman is “cute,” but not “super attractive,” tone down your comments and engage her in competitive conversation instead. The more over-confident the woman is, the more you can tease her.

WARNING: Once you’ve used a teasing comment and it’s worked well, she’s going to try and regain her power. She’ll do everything possible to test you, so make sure you don’t give in to her.

Things To Say

• Nice hair. What made you go with a 60’s style?
• Ha. That walk is hilarious. Do it again!
• You like cappuccino’s? (weird look) Na, that’s cool.

Imply she’s short, has no fashion sense, has a funny quirk, etc. Once you find something that gets a great reaction, keep using it. Tease her about her:

• Hair
• Clothes
• Shoes
• Accessories
• Walk
• Mannerisms
• Dorkiness

The “Where Did You Go?” Flirting Technique

Here’s a great example you can do with just about any woman. After talking for some time you can walk up to her and look over her head as if you’re looking for something. You can then say, “Where did you go?”

Don’t stand too close just close enough to get the point across. You’ll usually get a playful hit for this one because it implies that she’s short. If you’re the same height or just a little bit shorter, stand on your toes to add some extra height. Being the same height can actually make this technique work better because it’s sarcastic humor. You’re saying she’s short even though she’s clearly level with your height.

Woman’s Teasing Interpretation

SHE THINKS FIRST: “I’m short and he is laughing about it.”

SHE INTERPRETS THIS AS: He doesn’t only want me for my looks! He’s different than most guys. I want to get to the bottom of this and see what he’s really like! Is he faking?

RESULT: She’s interested.

Re-active Teasing

While this form of teasing is slightly more difficult, it usually more effective because of its “natural conversation” feel. So here’s what you do:

Ask the woman something about her day, what have you been up to? Where do you work? Where have you been shopping? What’s in the shopping bag? Where’d you get that necklace? Anything!

The idea of teasing is that you want to DISAGREE on something with the woman. Thus, creating sexual tension.

DISAGREE on her looks

Say her clothes aren’t cool.

DISAGREE on her opinion of something.

Side note: A great way to tease women at pick-up bars is to joke to your buddy that the woman is too drunk, even if she’s not. Or, accuse her of becoming as insecure as a man who goes around trying to get lucky with his “confidence-in-a-can,” and tell her it’s not going to work with you.

In conclusion, there’s a difference between a woman being seriously upset, and just playing around and being “fake upset.” When they playfully hit you and have a half smile on their face, they like it, no matter what they say!

FACT: Women mean what they do, not what they say.

When she starts laughing, acting natural, fun, and genuinely smiling, then you know you’ve spoken long enough. You no longer need to speak to the woman.

Don’t you want to make your man melt? Don’t you want to leave him in a pleasure induced coma and render him speechless? Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to have all of the power in the bedroom and to make him completely weak in the knees? You are getting excited by these thoughts, aren’t you? Then it’s time you learned how to make the pleasurable experiences happen for both you and your man tonight.

Ease Into It

You can’t go in guns blazing. That’s the first rule. Just with sex, there is a little foreplay involved. Even in those heated moments, you never just go right into it. There is always some form of foreplay to get you both going. The same rule must be upheld for oral sex. You don’t necessarily have to take your time, but don’t go right into it right away.

Start off slow by kissing around his penis. Use your hand to stroke around the base and gradually work your way up the shaft. Starting off with your hand will ensure that you are making him hard and making your job ultimately easier. This also gets him going and gets him used to stimulation. Then, you can throw your tongue into the mix. Use your tongue to lick up and down the sides of his shaft and making your way up to the head of his penis. Keep in mind, the head of his penis is akin to your clitoris – it gets very sensitive when directly stimulated. Use your tongue to massage around the penis but never stay on one spot.

By this time, he is going to be begging for it so it’s time to move into phase two. Don’t leave him on the verge of this breaking point for too long. It’s time to give him.

Work Your Magic

Even though it is called ‘oral sex,’ that doesn’t mean that you have to use your mouth and only your mouth. Even though your warm tongue and mouth both feel incredible stimulating him all over, he needs a bit of rough stimulation as well and this is where your hands come into play.

With your mouth and tongue on the tip of his penis, stimulating his most sensitive spot, he is craving some rough stimulation on his shaft where he can handle that kind of a touch. This is a perfect opportunity to use your hand or both your hands and to really work his shaft.

When doing this, make sure you have a lot of lubrication. Another mind blowing oral tip to keep in mind is that for him, the wetter the better. Make sure that he is plenty lubed up with either lubrication or your saliva so he doesn’t encounter any friction that will take away from the experience.

Get Into It

Good girls can give good head but bad girls give amazing head. Don’t be afraid to moan and to get into it. Flip around and let him tend to you while you are on top giving it to him. Oral is supposed to be fun and the more you let loose, the sexier and amazing it is going to be. Also, the more you are into it and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is going to be for you to take him in your mouth.

If you want to deep throat and give him that kind of an experience, then there is a trick for that so you can do so with ease and reassurance. All you do is make a fist with your left hand, press your index and thumb together and squeeze as hard as you can. This pressure will bypass your gag reflex so you will be able to allow your man to explore all of the depths of your mouth. Try it tonight!

You can give your man an amazing mind blow oral sex experience tonight and it is about time that you did just that. Make him melt with just your mouth and have him eating out of the palm of your time in no time.

For many men, premature ejaculation is one of the most embarrassing problems that can happen in the bedroom. It can sneak up on you when you become extremely aroused, and any slight movement or extra friction on the penis can bring you to the point of no return. Very often, ejaculation occurs within one minute of sexual intercourse, and this ill-timed event can frustrate both you and your partner.

But the simple truth is also that PE can be permanently reversed. Any man can learn how to re-train his ejaculatory reflexes and keep an impending climax at bay until he or his partner is ready for it. Here are two simple tips that will add minutes to sex and amp up your lovemaking.

Associate The Sensations That Happen Before Your Orgasm

Unlike women, men are far more easily aroused during sex. Thus to control your ejaculation, you first have to learn to recognize the sensations that come immediately before an orgasm, as well as associate the sensations while you are climbing up the arousal curve. This helps you become aware of the amount of stimulation your penis can take before you come to a climax.

Such “cognitive feedback” will enable you to modulate your actions and movements during sex so that you will stay clear of the “point of no return” until you are ready.

Establish Physical Control To Delay An Orgasm

This brings us to the next point. So how do you modulate your movements to keep your ejaculation at bay?

First, start things SLOWLY. Adopt a gradual, sensuous build-up to sex. Unlike men, women take FAR longer to warm up to your advances, so take your time to arouse her mind and body first. She will love your undivided attention… plus, it also helps buy you more time in bed!

Second, pay close attention to the things that cause you an early ejaculation. For instance, if a certain sex position speeds up your climax, switch things up when you feel your arousal climbing. (Hint: for most men, the missionary position is the culprit of quick-fire sex). Do you get aroused too fast during foreplay? If so, ask your partner to avoid making excessive contact with your genitals.

Third, try adopting a different thrusting method during intercourse. Instead of penetrating deeply, alternate between shallow and deep penetrations. This helps you in two ways. Shallow penetrations, coupled with gyrating hip movements, will give your woman greater clitoral stimulation and gets her aroused faster. On the other hand, deeper thrusts create less friction on your penis glans and helps you last longer!

Remember, premature ejaculation is NOT permanent. By understanding your own sexual arousal patterns and making simple changes to the way you have sex, PE will soon become a long-forgotten past!

As with any sexual activity, communication between both partners is absolutely key to having a successful genital massage, fellatio or even intercourse session. You must keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner when performing your hand job to be able to give him the best experience you can and for you to be comfortable.

You will need to learn what he likes and when he likes it – although it is somewhat your responsibility to pay attention to his bodily cues (such as movements and noises) to learn if he really likes something, it is your partner’s responsibility to let you know if something is not working. If your partner does not tell you when something doesn’t feel as good as he would like it to, he is setting you up for failure!

Don’t Be Too Shy To Ask

Ladies, he’s been masturbating his whole life.

He knows his likes and dislikes and will be appreciative if you ask him to not only tell you, but take his own hand over yours and show you what feels best to him. It may differ from encounter to encounter, but you will get a good sense of how he handles himself “in private” and learn the strokes he used and the pace he is accustomed to.

On the same token, it is crucial to let your partner know if you are uncomfortable with something or if a particular move causes your hands numbness, pain or makes them tire or cramp easily. In doing so, you ensure that both you and your partner are on the same page about genital massage and avoid a lot of frustration!

Living The Fantasy

Part of giving a man a fabulous handjob is helping him to live out his fantasies. Most men do have fantasies while masturbating and it often has to do with YOU! He is imagining you in lingerie, or going down on him in the shower, talking dirty to him or trying out some new position or new place for a love nest.

As he closes his eyes while you play with his manhood, help him to be a part of a fantasy. Tell him what part of the fantasy you are and what part he plays (he often wants to simply be the most amazing lover with the package you go wild over).

His Penis Is Like A Big Clitoris

While it’s true that a clitoris has more nerves packed into the tiny little bud, the penis is actually made from the same erectile tissue as a clitoris – or, if you prefer to think of it the other way, a clitoris is made from the same erectile tissue as a penis. So while a penis is technically less sensitive due to not having as many nerve endings, a man’s member is pretty much an oversized clitoris.

You know how great it feels to have a warm, wet mouth wrapped around your clitoris, massaging it to the brink of ecstasy. Now imagine that your clitoris were much bigger than it is – oral sex would feel fantastic, wouldn’t it! You would be able to feel every lick, every kiss and every flick of the tongue that much more.

So guess what? That’s what getting head is like for a guy.

Blowjobs Are Better Than Sex

While a vagina can be just as warm and just as wet as a mouth, there are a few things that a mouth has that a vagina just can’t hold a candle to. The lips and tongue create all sorts of movement and stimulation that a vagina can’t even begin to mimic and of course, the suction. A vagina can’t “suck” like a mouth can and frankly, that’s what most guys crave when they get head. The suction gives them a sensation of their orgasm being drawn out from the depths of their scrotum and when done well, can give them the most incredible climax of their life. So while having sex is great, when done the right way, a blowjob can be so much better.

He Loves The Show

Guys are visual creatures – they get off on seeing sexy things during sex. It’s just the way they’re hardwired and yes, it’s totally different from the way a woman is hardwired. Women have better sexual experiences when their imaginations are stimulated, whereas men have better sexual experiences when their visual systems are stimulated.

During sex, a man is often not looking at what is going on – unless he has a really freaky girl. He might occasionally get to bang his woman in front of a mirror or enjoy some reverse cowgirl action, but chances are, the lights are off and he’s in the missionary position, straining to see his woman’s face as he thrusts. A blowjob, however, provides quite a bit more visual stimulation for a man. Here’s why:

• A woman typically doesn’t feel as self conscious when giving head, because she’s often not completely naked. Many girls will give a man a blowjob while fully or partially dressed, making her feel much less insecure about her body. Therefore, the lights usually get to stay on.
• He gets to watch himself being pleasured. Yeah, it’s a thing for guys. They like to watch the action happen – especially when they’re involved. Watching a girl go to work on his head and shaft, combined with the sensations she’s creating while licking and sucking him up and down just about tops it for a guy on the sexual pleasure scale.
• Eye contact is a huge turn on for guys when they’re getting head. They love it when a girl looks up at him and holds eye contact for a few moments while she’s got her lips wrapped around his penis. For a man, it’s the best.
• Girls like to impress their men. A blowjob can sometimes be considered a “performance,” as much as a lap dance or a striptease would be. You can bet she’s going to make sure she looks damn sexy while she’s going down on him – upping the visual stimulation factor even more.

The Emotional Side Of It

While guys often get a bad rap for having non-existent emotions, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s just that men can’t put their emotions into words as well as a woman, nor can they really decode and understand what they’re feeling – but that doesn’t mean that a man isn’t feeling at all.

Getting great head actually plays on many of a man’s emotions, even if he doesn’t realize it. A blowjob makes him feel great, and not just because it feels great.

• When a woman gives head, she sumbits to her man. Very few things will make a man feel “manlier” than having a woman get down on him. This is because a blowjob lends the air of submission to the experience – she’s leaning down, taking his most sensitive parts into her mouth and totally serving him sexually, concentrating only on him and his pleasure. This makes him feel like a king!
• It gives him the sense of love and admiration for a man. While a woman may feel more like a man loves her when he fixes her car and does chores around the house, a man feels like a woman loves him when she gives him incredible sexual pleasure. When a woman goes down on a man and focuses completely on him and him alone, he derives a great sense of being loved and being admired by the woman giving him oral pleasure.

A Man Is Sexually Driven

Men get many of their physical and emotional needs met during sex, although this is not at all the same for a woman. A woman gets her physical and emotional needs met in a relationship through hugging, kissing, cuddling, talking and sharing her thoughts and feelings. Men can do all of this through sex – after an incredible sexual experience and amazing orgasm, he will feel more connected to his partner and happier in his relationship overall.

A great blowjob will make a man feel like a woman might feel after a great shopping spree in which her man showers her with compliments when she tries on outfit after outfit, a healthy gripe session over lunch where her partner listens to her concerns and validates her feelings and a romantic stroll through the park listening to her partner tell her all the reasons he loves and adores her and how grateful he is to have her in his life.

For a man, receiving a great blowjob is all of these things rolled into one simple act. He will get many of his physical and emotional needs met even in just twenty minutes of getting head, and even more so if his lover is able to make him orgasm while doing so. The better the head, the more it does for him.

So now you know just how powerful incredible oral sex is for a man and why he loves it so much.

The fastest way to build relationships with people is to share personal information about yourself. When you talk to a woman and discover things or experiences you have in common, you are building a rapport with her. The longer you talk to someone and discuss a wide variety of topics, the more rapport you build.

Rapport allows you to nurture and grow your relationships with friends, family and anyone you come in contact with.

The Most Common Mistake

The most common mistake is trying to become friends first, and then trying to build a sexual relationship later on. Here’s the simplest way to remember how to interact in any given situation.

1. Flirt till she’s attracted to you.
2. Then, while maintaining the flirting, begin to reveal personal information about yourself.

It’s the information about yourself that helps build relationships – your name, job, dreams, hobbies, interests and memories — but it’s the emotions you evoke through your personality that sparks attraction — your confidence, security, sense of humor, leadership, mystery and playfulness.

Don’t Build Report Without Being Flirtatious

Never try and build rapport without first being flirtatious, fun and playful. Not ever. Without showing yourself to be desirable, she has no reason to be interested in you. Nothing has set off the attraction.

Talking about hobbies, life ambitions, careers and education can be fascinating conversation and can work if you can discuss these things in a flirtatious manner. But most men who start on the boring demographic questions find it difficult to transition into a flirtatious mood later.

Most men have the urge to get into these boring questions first, and try to be playful and flirtatious later.  They only attempt to make her sexually aroused after they have established a friendship. This is a death trap that’s going to kill you slowly and painfully as you wait, and never see results.

Move On To Other Women

If you want to attract a woman you’re already friends with and there’s been no sexual chemistry, then you need to move on and start dating other women. You’ve been put into the friend zone and there’s no coming back

If this woman is everything you’ve dreamed about, then you need to date other women and gain valuable dating experience so you’ll actually have a chance with her. If you love her because she’s “the perfect woman”, then chances are that a lot of other men feel the same way about her, which means heavy competition. She has many options and she’s only going to date the very best guy – and that will be hard to compete with.

After you’ve dated several women, you’ll notice your dream girl become curious about your new found desirability, and you may get a second chance. And then again, after going out on a first date with other women, you may realize you like a new woman much more than the one you had your sights on before.

Just as she’s getting in the mood for more, you take a dive down south and stick in a finger to see if the waters are warm. If she’s not ready, it’s back to the testing phase – a little more kissing, necking, nipples and bum.

This back and forth is not only annoying when we aren’t aroused yet, but makes us feel pressured. the only thing that seems to make a difference toward the success of women who overcome sexual dysfunction is the commitment of their mates.

Wet Doesn’t Mean Ready

If your wife is warm and wet when you test her out, do you take that as a sign that it’s time for sex and head straight for intercourse? Not so fast! Being lubricated and being open for sex is not the same thing. DeAngelis explains that lubricant can be affected by a number of factors – nutrition, exercise, medications, hydration, emotions and cyclical hormones – and warns,

“Don’t assume just because we’re wet that we’re ready. Our body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to us.” Don’t fall victim to the belief that if you don’t “strike while the iron is hot” she will become less aroused as you continue to stimulate her before having “real” (i.e. penetrative) sex.

The opposite is true, unless she’s really tired, in which case there’s no magic you can do besides giving her a chance to get the rest she needs. She will learn to lovingly live with it, much more than she would learn to live with you being standoffish, awkward and emotionally distant because you’re always “waiting for the right time.”

Are We There Yet?

You hate it when the kids can’t stop asking, right? You don’t want to be the big five-year-old in your relationship, do you? It is time to get with the program.

It’s Not Always About Orgasm

Yes, women like orgasms. We are human after all, and our bodies are programmed for pleasure. Perhaps it is the fact that men are three to five times more likely than women to orgasm during every sexual encounter but we women don’t need sex to be so goal-oriented.

Sure, it might be fun to play a game once in a while, just to see how many orgasms your wife can have, but she doesn’t want every sexual moment to be a marathon. Each encounter doesn’t have to be an event – sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the sensations and emotions of being together.

No Pushing

In other words, stop acting like it’s the end of the world if your woman doesn’t come! What is the point of being passive aggressive? Bullying your partner into enjoying herself is pretty counter-intuitive, right? Sex is supposed to be about feeling good and there are plenty of good feelings that may not lead directly to orgasm.

Heck, if she gets there every time, she’s doing better than 85% of other women out there, and only about half report having orgasms during sex “often.”

A Watched Pot Never Boils

I like sex. In fact, I love it. I love orgasms, too. But when my husband would ask me over and over if I was “there yet?” it drove me mad! Sure, it was nice to know that he cared one way or the other. But the pressure to perform for him was so overwhelming; I would end up faking just to get him to stop asking.

No woman wants to be pestered about her orgasm. Honestly, if you have to ask, you haven’t fingered her well enough yet to make her body tell you of its own volition.

In this case, that is where you should be focusing your energy, not pushing your orgasmic expectations and your trivial real-world cares and stresses onto her exactly when she needs to relax and let go the most.

Great Expectations

Let me put this very simply. If you can’t tell whether or not your partner has had an orgasm, you better stop acting like Casanova and trying to collect orgasms like trophies. When you can recognize the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, put your mouth to good use and make it happen!

And I don’t mean by talking at her incessantly until she fakes it so you’ll shut up and leave her be. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood for wild sex and multiple orgasms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle or play. Just because your wife might not up for The Big O doesn’t mean you can’t work on one for you, or suggest a bit of mutual masturbation!

Many women will start to experience the onset of sexual desire after getting started, so a slightly-less-than-enthusiastic response isn’t the kiss of death.  Foreplay is the secret to get any woman to respond the right way.

Just as she’s getting in the mood for more, you take a dive down south and stick in a finger to see if the waters are warm. If she’s not ready, it’s back to the testing phase – a little more kissing, necking, nipples and bum. This back and forth is not only annoying when we aren’t aroused yet, but makes us feel pressured. The only thing that seems to make a difference toward the success of women who overcome sexual dysfunction is the commitment of their mates.

Wet Doesn’t Mean Ready

If your wife is warm and wet when you test her out, do you take that as a sign that it’s time for sex and head straight for intercourse? Not so fast! Being lubricated and being open for sex is not the same thing. One of the best sex tips to give is don’t assume just because they are wet that they are ready. Their body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to them.

Don’t fall victim to the belief that if you don’t “strike while the iron is hot” she will become less aroused as you continue to stimulate her before having sex. The opposite is true, unless she’s really tired, in which case there’s no magic you can do besides giving her a chance to get the rest she needs.

She will learn to lovingly live with it, much more than she would learn to live with you being standoffish, awkward and emotionally distant because you’re always “waiting for the right time.”

It’s Not Always About Orgasm

Yes, women like to have an orgasm. We are human after all, and our bodies are programmed for pleasure. Perhaps it is the fact that men are three to five times more likely than women to orgasm during every sexual encounter but we women don’t need to be so goal-oriented.

Sure, it might be fun to play a game once in a while, just to see how many orgasms your wife can have, but she doesn’t want every sexual moment to be a marathon. Each encounter doesn’t have to be an event – sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the sensations and emotions of being together.

No Pushing

In other words, stop acting like it’s the end of the world if your woman doesn’t come! What is the point of being passive aggressive? Bullying your partner into enjoying herself is pretty counter-intuitive, right?

Intercourse is supposed to be about feeling good and there are plenty of good feelings that may not lead directly to orgasm. Heck, if she gets there every time, she’s doing better than 85% of other women out there, and only about half report having orgasms with their partner.

A Watched Pot Never Boils

I like sex. In fact, I love it. I love orgasms, too. But when my husband would ask me over and over if I was “there yet?” it drove me mad! Sure, it was nice to know that he cared one way or the other. But the pressure to perform for him was so overwhelming; I would end up faking just to get him to stop asking.

Here is one of the best sex tips I know. No woman wants to be pestered about her orgasm. Honestly, if you have to ask, you aren’t fingering her well enough yet to make her body tell you of its own volition. In this case, that is where you should be focusing your energy, not pushing your orgasmic expectations and your trivial real-world cares and stresses onto her exactly when she needs to relax and let go the most.

Great Expectations

Let me put this very simply. If you can’t tell whether or not your partner has had a female orgasm, you better stop acting like Casanova and trying to collect orgasms like trophies. When you can recognize the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, put your mouth to good use and make it happen! And I don’t mean by talking at her incessantly until she fakes it so you’ll shut up and leave her be.

Sometimes, I am just not in the mood for wild sex and multiple orgasms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle or play. Just because your wife might not up for The Big O doesn’t mean you can’t work on one for you, or suggest a bit of mutual masturbation! Many women will start to experience the onset of sexual desire after getting started, so a slightly-less-than-enthusiastic response isn’t the kiss of death.

1. Flirting Lines

• Nice hair. What made you go with a 60’s style?
• Ha. That walk is hilarious. Do it again!
• You like cappuccino’s? (weird look) Na, that’s cool.

Imply she’s short, has no fashion sense, has a funny quirk, etc. Once you find something that gets a great reaction, keep using it and maintain your eye contact.

2. Tease Her About Her

• Hair
• Clothes
• Shoes
• Accessories
• Walk
• Mannerisms
• Dorkiness

3. Where Did You Go?

Here’s a great example you can us when flirting with just about any woman. After talking for some time you can walk up to her and look over her head as if you’re looking for something. You can then say, “Where did you go?”

Don’t stand too close just close enough to get the point across. You’ll usually get a playful hit for this one because it implies that she’s short.

If you’re the same height or just a little bit shorter, stand on your toes to add some extra height. Being the same height can actually make this technique work better because it’s sarcastic humor. You’re saying she’s short even though she’s clearly level with your height.

4. Woman’s Flirting Interpretation

HE JUST SAID: “I’m short and he is laughing about it.”
SHE INTERPRETS THIS AS: He doesn’t only want me for my looks! He’s different than most guys. I want to get to the bottom of this and see what he’s really like? Is he faking?
RESULT: She’s interested.

5. Reactive Flirting

While this form of flirting is slightly more difficult, it usually more effective because of its “natural conversation” feel. This will require more confidence. So here’s what you do:

Ask the woman something about her day, what have you been up to? Where do you work? Where have you been shopping? What’s in the shopping bag? Where’d you get that necklace? Anything!

The idea of teasing is that you want to DISAGREE on something with the woman. Thus, creating sexual tension.

DISAGREE on her looks
Say her clothes aren’t cool.
DISAGREE on her opinion of something.

Side note: One of the best ways to incorporate flirting is to joke to your buddy that the woman is too drunk, even if she’s not. Or, accuse her of becoming as insecure as a man who goes around trying to get lucky with his “confidence-in-a-can”, and tell her it’s not going to work with you.

In conclusion, there’s a difference between a girl being seriously upset, and just playing around and being “fake upset.” When they playfully hit you and have a half smile on their face, they like it, no matter what they say!

FACT: Women mean what they do, not what they say. Know this when you are out trying to meet singles.

When she starts laughing, acting natural, fun,  genuinely smiling, and giving you the right body language then you know you’ve spoken long enough.

If you want her to be up for more, your fingering technique should be spotless and leave her fully stimulated and wanting more.

Take Care Of Your Hands

There are some things you should take into consideration before going in. First of all, fingers are, unlike a tongue, rough. This is true no matter how baby-smooth your hands are, or how well-manicured. It’s more true, of course, if your hands are rough or not well manicured.

Caring for them ahead of time with some hand-softening lotion and the careful removal of as much fingernail as comfortable is a good idea.

Use Gloves

Rubber/latex gloves, especially the surgical kind, are definitely worth considering, especially if you are just starting to experiment with anal-finger stimulation. The difference it makes is just astounding. Discomfort which was actually assumed to be from other issues (like being thought a matter of penetration itself, or nervous tightness) sometimes disappears completely.

Since the idea here, unlike condoms, is not to actually keep fluids from being passed between you, oil-based lubricants can sometimes be used with latex gloves.

Because there is going to be a lot of skin-on-skin during this type of sexual activity, you should still use a condom for protection. Though, a water-based lubricant (K-9, Wet, Anal-Ease, whatever you choose) might work fine.

How To Finger Her The RIGHT Way

Now that you’re all good and ready here’s how to tackle the situation so that both of you end up satisfied:

Step 1. Use all your fingers to part her buttocks, putting the tips close enough to her anus to do a
little bit of fiddling.

Step 2. Using your pinkies and your index fingers for anchoring let your ring and middle fingers meet each other over the whole, press gently into it, then stroke outwards again.

Step 3. Locate the exact opening. Don’t assume you know where it is, try to make a point of eyeballing it, sometimes even your partner ca be mistaken if they are trying to guide you.

Step 4. Don’t stick any fingers straight away or too fast; you’re not taking her temperature. Lube up before making any attempt at insertion, and then do it slowly and gradually. Go in a couple of centimeters, then slowly pull out again. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Step 5. Wiggle and vibrate your finger a little bit while you’re inside. Concentrate on stimulating the side nearest to her vagina. Once she’s comfortable with it, press along the same wall from both sides toward the rectum from the vagina, and toward the vagina from the rectum. The wall between them is thin enough and you will easily be able to feel your fingers pressing on each other.

Step 6. If she relaxes under your movements, insert a second or third finger, preparing the area for the actual penis.

Related articles:

1. Anal Fingering – 6 Techniques To Introduce Your Partner To Anal Play
2. How To Get Your Man To Try Anal Fingering
3. 4 Fingering Methods That Will Get Your Girl Off Every Time
4. Q&A: Fingering – What To Do When It Hurts
5. Fingering Techniques That Will Blow Her Mind!

Divorce is trying on emotions and the sex life. But there’s nothing better than that first orgasm you have after a breakup. And we’re not talking about the orgasm you initiate yourself.

For most people, during the course of a divorce or during a marriage that’s not functional, their hand (or vibrator) becomes their best friend. Where do you think the acronym B.O.B. came from?

You know: battery operated boyfriend.  It came from women that were frustrated during the process of being separated and getting divorced or breaking up.

Get Over The Frustration

I understand the frustration that occurs—sexually and otherwise—during a breakup. And it’s too bad really. But there’s nothing better than after breakup sex.

It’s almost like going to a car dealer for the very, very first time and smelling that new car smell.  There’s nothing better than the new-person smell, especially after the last one was so stinky and old and had too many miles on it. I’ve been there.

I’ve been married 2.5 times, so I know all about after-divorce sex.  The anticipation, the build up—oh my god, it’s so good! I’ve got to tell you, the first time you look at another person’s eyes, you look deep into them and you think to yourself “all I want is sex.”

All I Want Is Sex

“I don’t want to talk about the kids.  I don’t want to talk about money.  I don’t’ want to talk about anything. I just want you to do me, all night long.”

It’s the best foreplay you will ever have.

The first time you sleep with a new person after ending a relationship—whether it’s divorce or just breaking-up a relationship—consider that the person is literally re-taking your virginity all over again.

Some of you have cobwebs down there; it’s been so long.  Some of you are really, really rusty. But here’s the deal—and remember this because it’s really important: the first person you sleep with after you separate is the last person you want to have a relationship with.

Don’t Make This BIG Mistake

Think about it. You are full of emotion, full of desire and infatuation.  It’s lust.

And a lot of people go into the mistake of getting involved in relationships with somebody right away, because the sex is so good, because that’s what was probably  is lacking in your relationship.  Usually when people are going through relationship issues, the sex stops.

So, of course, it’s the first thing you want to replace, because you’ve been deprived for so long.  But, it’s also the biggest trap. That trap is hot sex. The first person you sleep with after a relationship ends is the last person you want to have a relationship with.

Remember that the next time you have that lust.  You need to spend time alone after a relationship ends.  You need to go back and get some good sex, have some fun, figure out what life is all about.

Don’t Fall Into This Trap!

Don’t fall into the trap of getting with that person that wants to do you in any way, shape or form—they’re really just feeding off of your sexually energy.  Because when we get out of a marriage or relationship, we’ve got incredible sexual energy.

It’s almost like a little kid being let loose on the playground.  It’s almost like the first day of school.  It’s almost like going to the best buffet in Vegas, all you can eat.

But the problem is, you don’t want to hit a buffet every single night.  You certainly don’t want to be in school forever, and you certainly can’t be in Vegas for longer than 48 hours.

So, think about that the next time you’ve got some good after-breakup sex.  Or if you are going through a break-up right now, don’t get trapped by that great buffet.

Right After Your Blowjob

Right after the blowjob there are a few key things you need to do.

1. Help clean up. If she lets you orgasm in her mouth, get her a towel to spit into.

2. If you came somewhere else, it’s your job to clean up. Wipe it off. Show that you’re going to take care of things.

3. Have a positive and THANKFUL and HAPPY attitude. Tell your girl things like…

“That was WONDERFUL.”
“You are AMAZING.”
“Oh my god, thank you so much. That was awesome.”

4. Shower her in affection. Don’t go overboard but really show that you care appreciate what she’s done.

Listen guys, I know you might not love cuddling or hanging out after you climax, but drink an energy drink if you have to, stay awake and make sure she feels appreciated.

The Next Day

The next day is when you really cement the positive experience of giving you a blowjob. If you have my Text Your Wife Into Bed product, use some of the core concepts there to revivify the experience for both of you. Focus on how GREAT she made you feel and how WONDERFUL the whole thing was.

If you don’t have TYWIB, text or email this:

“That was wonderful last night. Thank you.”
“My favorite part was when you ran your tongue along the underside…you looked SOOO sexy.”

KEY POINT: Whatever you do, do not create the expectation that she’s going to do this again. If she feels pressured to make this a regular part of the arsenal, you might lose the fish. You may even want to say “It’s totally up to you if you ever do that again, but it was WONDERFUL.”

You can also focus on how she seemed to really enjoy it. “I can’t believe how wet you were when you were sucking me.” Or “You really seemed turned on.” By bringing the attention to the girl’s own arousal you cement it in her mind.

Days Down The Road

Really all you need to do at this point is rinse, wash and repeat. Continue the games I’ve taught you here. Continue to reinforce the idea of her mouth as a erogenous zone and the POWER of her mouth and tongue to give you pleasure. Remember, you’re basically trying to create a “habit” here and creating a habit requires repetition.

If you let off the throttle the first time you have success, you’ll have a lot more work to do next time. But if you continue at a strong and steady pace you’ll have your wife or girlfriend acting like an “oral enthusiast” in no time.

Give Her Time

There are some ladies who take a long while to get where they need to be before experiencing orgasm. With such a vast number of factors involved in the process, it is a delicate juggle that may or may not line up on any given night. Some women, however, have the self-knowledge, experience, confidence and wherewithal to climax in record time.

Maybe she can elicit what she needs from her body just by thinking sexy thoughts, or maybe she has a partner that really knows how to get her motor running. Maybe, just maybe, your wife is one of the rare few who barely need any assistance at all! These are the women that the rest of us envy.

Know The Factors That Affect Her Orgasm

Many factors affect a woman’s ability to orgasm, such as her mindset, where she is in her menstrual cycle, any positive or negative sexual experiences she may have experienced in the past, where and how she spent her day, how much stress she’s under, even the things she has eaten or ingested including food, water, drugs, alcohol and/or medications.

Some of these things will affect her positively – fond memories from a smell or a touch can send her right into sexy space, or small amounts of booze might help her to loosen up when she’s feeling anxious. Others, like fatty foods, excess alcohol and many prescription medications, will only serve to dampen her sexual fire.

Find Out If She Orgasms During Masturbation

Ask your lady if she masturbates and experiences orgasm on her own. If she does, she’s likely to orgasm during sexual intercourse far more easily than her non-masturbatory counterparts.

Don’t bother asking her how long she takes as an indicator of how long it’ll take while you’re inside of her though; like you when you touch your own cock, she knows her body so well that masturbation will get her to climax consistently much faster than any other method.

What will help to move things along is extended foreplay before penetrative intercourse – fingering and oral sex are sure to get her nice and warm before penetration. You’ll get her that much further along the path to climax this way, so that her juices are revved and ready to go when you make the transition from foreplay to intercourse.

Find Out What She Likes

Ask her to show you what she does on her own, or what angles, pressure and rhythm she really enjoys. If you can get to know what gets her off solo, you’ll be that much closer to learning what really makes her tick.

All of this information doesn’t truly answer the question though, does it? I’m not avoiding it, I promise. I just want to ensure that you understand all of the factors involved before you start checking the clock and timing your lover’s orgasmic process.

In a nutshell, most women take anywhere from ten to thirty minutes to achieve orgasm during penetrative sex. That time frame doesn’t include foreplay or aftercare, but rather direct clitoral head stimulation or G-Spot play during intercourse.

And most of all, they love to lavish attention on the beauty that is the female body. Here are 3 steamy sex secrets from the sex gods that you can use to make your woman fall all over you. Pay heed to this “gender intelligence” and become a sex god yourself!

1. The Art Of Silent Conveyance

Let your eyes, hands and body do the talking . A woman should know that you want her without you having to speak the words. This is conveyed in the way that you look at a woman, the way that you behave around a woman and the way you touch a woman’s body.

Let your fingers rest on hers for a second longer than necessary. Look at her with desire in your eyes. Get her emotionally prepared for what is coming next, and have her eagerly anticipating it as well!

2. The Art Of Tender Embrace

Once you are sure that your advances are welcomed, take her into your arms and begin kissing her, caressing her at the same time. Touch her all over, but do not fumble, stumble or grope. Your movements should be fluid and you should embrace her body.

Give her sensual delight and she will be over the moon in no time. Embracing her is not just fumbling around with her breasts and vagina; it is the intimate act of getting her physically and mentally aroused for sex.

3. The Art Of Oral Exploration

Sexual intercourse is not the only way to sexually gratify a woman. Cunnilingus is often billed as one of the “most wanted” sexual acts by women, and for a simple reason. The tongue is your body’s strongest muscle. And the tantalizing touch of a man’s tongue on a woman’s body is like no other, and cannot be replicated by any other things.

Being naturally lubricated with saliva, your tongue is also a far more effective and maneuverable tool than your penis to give her awesome orgasms. Learn how to tease her clitoris orally and you will have her as hot as a tigress in heat, waiting to burst forth with orgasmic pleasure.

If she is already struggling to reach orgasm regularly, so might not want the additional pressure of trying to orgasm over and over again.

There are several ways to assist your partner with finding the path to multiples, as all women have the capacity, but only if she is prepared and has opened her mind to the idea. It’s all just a matter of creating the perfect storm.

What To Do After The First Orgasm

Once she has experienced her first orgasm, you want to ensure she remains aroused. Cuddle, coo, snuggle and tell your lover how much you appreciate her, all while slowly and gently stimulating the clitoral head and hood.

If she is too sensitive, pull back to the labia, the mons or even the inner thigh. Basically, whatever pressure, rhythm and position you were in prior to her orgasm, you want to continue along those lines but more gently and with less force.

Focus on the romance for a bit instead of the orgasm, and allow her a bit of a breather. Just don’t stop touching for more than a few seconds at a time, or the cool-off period will begin.

Watch Her Breathing

Once your girl’s breathing starts slowing back to normal (but before it gets all the way there), start with a bit more pressure along the mons pubis. If need be, shift into another position that offers strong symphysis and/or G-Spot stimulation.

If you can, put your hand over the mons pubis and feel around for the clitoral shaft, making sure she is getting the proper angle for lots of rubbing and friction.

Move your body further up hers if you are in a sex position facing her, so that you can help her rise toward climax again. If she pushes you away or says she’s too sensitive, take things back a few notches but don’t stop entirely.

Focus On The Other Parts

Focus on other parts of her body that arouse her until she starts to move of her own accord, rubbing against you in search of more stimulation. When her hips thrust and her breathing quickens, you can start playing with her mons pubis and pressing up against her pubic bone.

Her second orgasm should occur in less time than it took the first, only because her body didn’t regress all the way back to the non-aroused state before beginning her next ascent to climax.

1. Neck & Shoulders

The neck and shoulders, a well-known erogenous zone – tickles at first, but when she gets the hang of it, she’ll demand a kissing trail. Manual or oral stimulation is good, both is even better.

Nuzzle her neck with your snout or chin. That’s what some fellows in the animal kingdom do to suggest sexual motive. Occasionally, blow her a warm sigh – which slowly blows all her inhibitions away.

Give her neck and shoulders a good dosage of kissing, licking, sucking and some Transylvanian biting. No wet, sloppy ones please. Manage the slime, spit and slush.

The area could use a relaxing erotic massage. Give her shoulder blades firm squeezes. Use thumb circles especially at the base of the neck, where it’s connected to the shoulders. Stroke it sensually but firmly. Plant pointy kisses when you finish kneading, then gently caress the area using the back of your fingers.

2. Belly Area

See how large it is? How can you let such huge space miss on the action?

Her front torso is a canvass – like her back. And just like her back, it can be a productive playing field. So stop treating this patch of skin as that boring space between the breasts and the vulva during foreplay. It’s a major stop over, so camp there for a while.

Plant generous amounts of light, quick and gentle kisses on this canvass, purposely avoiding the breasts. There’s so much fun to be had. Take the belly button, for example.

It’s a handy place for depositing stuff like ice cubes, grapes, strawberries, syrup or choco drops. Not to mention the fact that women respond well to tongue on their buttons. Even a finger goofing around its outer edges can get her really going.

Do not follow a straight line from the lips down to her garden. Tease her. Let her simmer and hang for a few minutes. Naturally, she’ll want you to heed the call of the vagina and continue down. Which you will… but only in your own terms.

By staying on the area, you fire up specific questions in your partner’s head. It gets her thinking: Will he go all the way down?

That possibility excites her and makes her anticipate the moment when you finally cross Vulval territory. It’s an “almost there, but not quite there yet” anticipation building move – reminiscent of the excitement she encountered when you went higher and higher her inner thighs.

3. Arms

Fingers are your earliest tools for engaging another human being. We shake hands to bridge the physical gap between strangers, for example. Hand holding is commonly the first intimate expression between man and woman – it’s your tip and her tip coming together.

Simple hand holding is always a big hit for women, and it’s always nice to begin this way – no matter how cheesy it may seem. It may be the most mundane thing, but it could very well be the sweetest, most reassuring act this side of the bed.

It indicates warmth, affection and connection – showing her you’re not just there for the lay. When you communicate these things to a woman, an emotional bond waves through the act.

You may then do the classic hand massage. With edible lubricant, drive your thumbs onto her palm in a fanning/circular motion. Perform the same movement, but with less pressure, on the bonier back. Remember, massage is about meat and flesh, don’t knead fragile bones in the hope of relieving tension – you’ll break them.

Up the ante by indulging your girl with some oral sex. Lick those digits in a blowjob manner. Ravish her fingers and flicker your tongue over her columns. Playfully bite and suck all the goodness in that sweet thang.

Lead her hands somewhere nice. Like the naughty parts of your anatomy. Bring them to your stacked chest, and down to your even more well-endowed crotch. Delight her with the variety of textures. Let her feel the benevolence of your face and the suppleness of your behind. Teach her how you want to be touched.

Another favorite is planting kisses on the length of the lady’s tentacles. Beginning from the tips and worming your way towards her body. There’s always something about having someone go nearer, nearer, and nearer you that makes a girl’s heart beat a tad faster during foreplay.

Kissing from the fingertips towards the center means you’re reducing distance between the heads, making it increasingly more intimate and personal. The other way around just creates some sort of a going away psychological distance.

What She Said:

If anal play is something you want to try on your man, I think you need to have a relaxed conversation about it.  The last thing you want to do is whip out a strap on or stick your fingers in holes that he is not prepared to have filled.  If he has played around with you anally you can tell him how much you enjoyed it and how you would like to try pleasing him that way.

Most guys think of anal as an “exit only” for them.   It might be because they fear they will like it so much that they are somehow gay (Not true) or they are going to hate it because it is going to hurt!  But his reluctance is mostly due to his lack of experience.  There is a good chance he hasn’t had a lady express interest in his butt and he doesn’t know if he will like it or not.

If you do get him on board, the best way to experiment is while you are giving him a blowjob.  You are already down there anyway.  While you are going down on him, lube up one of your fingers.  Please make sure your nails are cut short too!

After your finger is lubed, tease his butt hole.  You do not have to stick your finger in there, but you can caress the outside and see how he likes it.  If he is ok with that then you can try putting the tip of your finger in his whole and once it is there just pulsate it and gauge his level of comfort.  Do not forget to continue to give him head during this too!

The double sensations can be super pleasuring to a guy. Once you have accomplished that you can move on to using your tongue around his hole and then putting your finger in his hole. Giving a guy a prostate massage is kind of like rubbing our G-Spot.  If you rub it right you are literally going to make him explode.

What He Said:

Yes, he’s probably concerned it will make him gay or have him perceived as gay, but he’s really concerned that you’re going to tell your friends about that shit. Women tell each other everything, even if they barely know each other.

I’ve known my best friend for over a decade, and I still don’t know when his birthday is, and I probably never will. I haven’t asked, and he hasn’t offered. That’s the way relationships should be: shrouded in CIA level secrecy.

So in addition to telling him it’s not gay, make sure you tell him you won’t tell anyone. Ever. Even after you break up. And mean that shit. Anal sex is something that men can enjoy just as much as women, but it’s like fight club, you don’t talk about that. Ever.

Also, it’s important to consider whether you want to add domination or humiliation play to the mix, which may or may not go over so well. Maybe your man is totally willing to take it like a man and let you fuck his ass with a strap on.

Maybe he’s even been dying to do that but  didn’t want to bring it up because he was afraid of how you’d perceive him, but that same guy who’s all about it may balk at the addition of femme play or dom play or whatever the hell it’s called, so find out if he’s interested.

If you are going to start with the finger up his ass while you blow him (yes, many guys do love this), I recommend using a rubber glove on  your hand while you do it. The anal cavity is an STD waiting to happen, if you don’t use protection.

This means condoms on the strap on, dental dams for rim jobs, and rubber gloves on your hands while you finger him. And forgetting to lube up your finger will end any chance of you strapping one on later.

I think you can just spring the finger up the ass on a guy. Many like it, but don’t want to admit it. If he’s in the moment, and you’re doing it right, he’ll orgasm buckets, and won’t be able to dismiss your request for anal play because he’s literally just enjoyed it. It’ll be easier to get a yes out of him and your strap on into him. Zing!

Most men who have been the fortunate recipient of a magnificent handjob will attest that it is often be more thrilling than a blow job.

Why A Handjob Makes Him Feel Special

While great intimacy is found when you make love, sex is a two-way street and there are times when focusing all your sexual energy on him and giving him a glorious hand job will pay back dividends for years to come.

I know that I’ve gushed compliments and favors and extra love and attention on my wife after she has brought me to a glorious climax after an exquisite hand job.  I’m often on a handjob “cloud 9” for a day or two after the special attention.

If you aren’t giving your man a healthy dose of handjobs then it is almost certain that he is resenting it in some way.

What The Stats Say

Here is what one of my subscriber said when I asked what they most liked about handjobs: “Wish I could give you anything – not something that I’m lucky enough for my wife to be willing to do. So you if you have any advice on how to get her interested in taking matters into her hands, I would appreciate it.”

In a different survey I sent out to thousands of my male subscribers.  I asked that only those who have received amazing blowjobs and handjobs reply.  I asked these men how many of them would prefer an amazing hand job over a “good” (not amazing) blow job.  82% said they would want the amazing hand job.

That is great news for all women.   Almost any women can learn the skills and techniques that will have their men in hand job heaven with the right teaching.  Blowjob skills are much harder to master and quite frankly we men realize that for most women sucking on a guy is not always the most pleasant experience.  Loving – yes.  Enjoyable – not for most women.

Your Hands Do More Than Your Mouth

Obviously a woman does not have a penis.  So either she can ask her man to teach her exactly what to do or she can read one of the most thorough guides ever written that will give her confidence and skills to take any man to moments and heights of pleasure he certainly has never reached before.

There are times in which your hands can do much, much more to a penis than you could dream of doing with your mouth or vagina and therefore, sometimes two hands are better than one mouth or one vulva!

Here, we’ll discuss plenty of techniques that you can use for male genital massage to get your partner aroused and to climax in a matter of minutes – or if you feel like it, seconds or hours!

Generally, a well performed hand job works better than fellatio and gives you a break as well ladies – keep in mind that it is easier to prolong a male genital massage for extended periods of time than it is to give your partner ultra-long, ultra-sensuous fellatio.

That doesn’t mean, however, that you should always replace fellatio with a genital massage. There’s just something about a hot mouth on your partner’s penis that really gets him going. But by learning the tricks and techniques of giving a great genital massage, you can be sure that you can always take matters into your own hands!

1. Wake Up The Nerves In Her Lips And Mouth

I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t absolutely LOVE this. Next time you’re in bed or even just kissing your woman, kiss her really nicely and then say. “Hold on a second. I want you to close your eyes and just let me kiss you for a second.”

The key is to get her to just stay still with her mouth either closed or partially open. While she’s laying there (or standing there), take the very tip of your tongue and lightly trace it along her lips. You just barely want the tip of your tongue to touch her lip.

You’re not licking her like dog here or anything like that, you’re just gently caressing her lips with your tongue.Women LOVE this when you do it right.

2. Create An “Oral Fixation”

OK, you remember Pavlov’s dogs?  The short version is that Pavlov rang a dinner bell every time he was going to feed some dogs he had. Before long the dogs started salivating when he rang the bell even when there was no food.

We’re going to start doing something similar with your wife. We’re going to start creating a connection between pleasure and the idea of having part of YOU in her mouth. Next time you’re in bed with your woman, take time to really focus on HER pleasure.

If there’s a particular way she really likes you to fuck her, do that. Or you can go down on her, use your fingers. Just focus on doing something you KNOW gets her off and that she really enjoys.

While she’s in the throes of passion, bring your fingers up to her mouth. Just bring them right up to her lips. (Quick note: many women really LIKE the taste of their own vaginal juices. You may want to get your fingers all wet, finger her to an orgasm and then bring your fingers up to her mouth.)

The key is to have her suck on your fingers either WHILE she’s experiencing great pleasure (one hand is getting her off while the other is in her mouth) or directly afterwards.

This is largely a continuation of our last “Trick” but it deserves its own section. If/when she starts to lick and suck your fingers, make sure you give her POSITIVE reinforcement.

3. Use “Outside The Bedroom Talk”

Hopefully you’re in the habit of giving your wife/girlfriend/lover compliments. What I want you to do from now on is start mixing in the occasional comment on her lips, mouth or tongue. So at one point you might comment on her eyes, her hair, whatever else you find sexy about her.

But then slip in something like:

“You have the most gorgeous lips.”
Or “Your tongue really turns me on.”
Or “I love the way your lips feel on my skin.”

You don’t ever need to make a direct connection between this and oral sex. Instead just create the idea in her mind of her lips, mouth and tongue being sexy and beautiful and desirable.

Again, we’re going for more self esteem, power and desirability here. With everything you’re doing, make sure you do it with a smile. Remember, sex is FUN!

4. Show Her What It Feels Like

I know, this sounds weird, let me explain. Next time you’re messing around with your woman I want you kiss your way down her arm. Use your tongue and lips liberally here and really let her enjoy it.

Kiss your way across her palm, up her fingers and then (with a smile, this is FUN) take her finger into your mouth. Eye contact is good here. Really have fun with her fingers. Fingers are actually REALLY sensitive. She’ll probably like this a LOT and may even get into it.

Being the “Receiver” in that way can really help your woman get into the idea of blowjobs being fun for both side.

5. Make It Seem Like Her Idea

OK, as I said way back in the first few pages of this (increasingly comprehensive…man, my fingers are tired) training, one of the reason so many women don’t like giving a blowjob is because of trauma from the past.

A boyfriend or husband or some guy they were dating was too rough with her, made her gag, created a bad memory and ruined it for the rest of us.

So what we need to do to get her to be INTO the idea of giving you head is put her in the driver’s seat and make the whole thing seem like her idea. If you follow the first 4 steps I listed out here you should be slowly warming her up to the idea of her mouth being an erogenous zone and oral being fun.

Now it’s time to give her the opportunity to “take the bait” and make the decision all on her own to give you head.

Related articles:

1. 10 Ways To Become An Oral Sex Master (For Women)
2. Why Men Love Oral Sex
3. 10 Ways To Become An Oral Sex Master (For Men)
4. Oral Sex and Orgasm Dilemma – I Want To Finish In Her Mouth…
5. 5 Mistakes To Avoid While Brushing Up On Your Oral Skills & Learning How To Give Great Head

Up to this point, we spoke of an orgasm as if it’s something  men GIVE the ladies. But the truth is, men can only do so much, we can only give the stimulation, women have to give the O’s to themselves.

1. Help Her Relax

Free the mind and bring your girl to a place where she can enjoy the moment, loosen up, and let go of her worries. We didn’t go through all that trouble just so she can lie passively, stare blankly at the ceiling, and do nothing but wait for the climax.

Of course not! She has a part in this dance. We went through the trouble of relaxing the mind & body so she can actively FOCUS on the sexual sensations. It’s the girl’s job is to take all stimulation, heighten awareness, and use that to power the climaxes.

An orgasm is not a passive thing; she has to feel the intensifying sensations of an unfolding process. She has to close her eyes, stop worrying about bills or anything fishy, block everything else.

2. Switch To Sexual Rapture

She has to recognize your hand and attend its gig on her vulva. She has to feel your fingers inside her, threatening to enflame her G -spot. She has to follow your tongue as it scintillates her clitoris. She has to feel every thrust and be enveloped with your blissful moves.

But as she’s doing these, she shouldn’t drive for an orgasm, but simply ride the journey to it. If she gets worried with cumming, she’ll merely undo everything in Step 1. Here, she’s not pressuring herself, she’s just enjoying the process, being in the moment. She’s not thinking about the big O, but reveling in the ecstasy you bring each other. She’s just playing around.

And then,  just when she’s not expecting it, at a point when she’s just messing around, at a moment when she’s lost all track of time… she begins that familiar writhing. It’s those unmistakable contractions. They’re starting to come in. She moans. Her body thrashes and her head swings side-to-side. Ding. ding. ding!

That’s the two-step process of sidestepping the paradox. First, clear her head. Second, fill it with erotic bliss.

You see, most men want to know how to last longer in bed. Yet very few guys actually achieve it. Let’s face it. Premature ejaculation is something that millions of men around the world have to grapple with. But only a handful really knows how to permanently deal with it, and it all boils down to one specific difference.

The Law Of The Numbers

It is no secret that most men come to an orgasm BEFORE women during sex. Studies have shown that women on average need 11 minutes to be able to reach an orgasm during intercourse. For guys, it is just a short 3 minutes! And it is clear why the vast majority of women remain unsatisfied during sex.

The Principle Of Outlasting Women

Many men continue to put their trust on pills, sprays and creams to improve their sexual stamina. The simple truth is that these “band-aids” do NOT provide a permanent solution to premature ejaculation. The key to having total ejaculatory control is in re-conditioning and re-training your mind so that you can significantly delay the “point of no return”, or the point where a male orgasm becomes imminent.

“Re-conditioning” simply requires you to reverse the negative thoughts that cause you to climax early. For instance, many men subconsciously “will” themselves to ejaculate early simply because they entertain thoughts such as:

“Am I really good enough to satisfy her?”
“Will I climax early again?”
“What if she thinks I’m really BAD in bed?”

Does This All Sound Familiar To You?

If it does, the first step to fixing premature ejaculation is to replace those negative thoughts with positive affirmations, such as:

“I can completely satisfy any woman”
“I am sexually confident”
“I can last all night”

The human mind is a very powerful thing. Repetitive affirmations can subconsciously induce the mind to believe the things it can do and more importantly… to eventually act out that way.

So if you are not lasting long enough, start replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, and your ability to enjoy longer-lasting sex will increase multiple folds!

The Big Mistake

While starting conversations with ladies seems hard enough, it appears even more daunting to keep a interesting, fun conversation going.

When men hang around with their friends they laugh, make jokes, have fun and don’t take things too seriously. But for some reason, when a man finds himself interested in a beautiful woman, he usually becomes very reserved without any confidence.

He stops laughing. He stops making jokes. He stops teasing. He stops having fun. He stops flirting.

Keep The Friendly Vibe

When in the presence of a potential date, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe he has with his friends, he suddenly becomes boring. He won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, he won’t play around like he does with his friends, and he takes things way too seriously.

Why do men change their behavior around girls? They usually don’t’ even realizing they are doing it. The reason is that men are so afraid of losing their only chance with a particular woman that they  turn into “Mr. Serious,” but don’t even maintain eye contact.

Men get so nervous talking to beautiful women that they lose all creativity and can’t make interesting conversation. Fearful that they might say something rude or challenging, they resort to boring “walking on egg shells” conversations, which results in no emotion.

What Are You Afraid Of?

While men can tell you that it’s important to not be boring when interacting with women, they often don’t even realize when they’re doing it. Remember this simple law.

1. When you fear loosing a woman you become cautious
2. When you’re cautious you become serious
3. When you’re serious you become boring
4. When you’re boring women aren’t attracted
5. When women aren’t attracted you don’t get a date

Men have such a strong “I must have this girl” attitude that the more they desire a woman, the more serious and boring they become in their poor attempts to date them.

Although films and television strongly encourage the idea of begging women, it doesn’t work. These values are used to evoke emotions for the movie audience, and in people take it to heart and buy into the idea that this behavior will lead to success and a first kiss.

Don’t Live In The Movies

It always seems like Mr. Romantic is doing the right thing by standing outside a balcony window every night singing love songs, reading poetry and bringing flowers until his dream girl finally falls in love with him.

While these actions may seem romantic and work in movies, we don’t live in the movies; we live in the real world. Women can smell manipulative men ten miles away and have no respect for their child-like behavior.

Remember acting playful and silly around your brothers and sisters when you were growing up? Whether you were older or younger usually determined who was in control of the playing. If you were older, you’ll probably remember calling your siblings harmless names, hiding their toys and making them beg for them back.

But unfortunately as men grow into adults they forget their playful instincts and try to “make logical sense of everything.” Before reading this book you may have heard of the term “flirting”, but never really understood what it was or why it is necessary to attract women. As you learn the flirting techniques within this book, you’ll recall other times during your life when you behaved like this.

Remember these dating tips to bring back the fun!

Related articles:

1. The Big Conversation Mistake 90% Of Men Make!
2. The Art of Seduction by Conversation: Using ‘The Add-On Principle’ to Get the Girl
3. Picking Up Women: How to Make Easy, Fun Conversation That Leads to Attraction & Sexual Chemistry
4. How To Avoid The Biggest Mistake Almost All Men Make In Bed
5. Online Dating – How to Avoid the Single Biggest Mistake Most People Make

The first time I ever came during intercourse, my partner and I used a seated position that offered both clitoral and internal G-Spot stimulation like no other, and it’s still my go-to position when I want to orgasm quickly while looking in my lover’s eyes. Every woman is different so why not try some of the under-appreciated seated positions to see if any can offer up just what you’re both after.

1. Hot Tub Squat

This position is best in a hot tub or pool with a seated ledge, although it’s possible to perform in a comfy, firm, high-backed chair. Try to keep your genitals out of the water if possible, as chlorine in the vagina can lead to a nasty infection. Get into the tub (or the chair) and sit comfortably with legs bent and your feet flat on the floor.

Have the girl squat on top of you with her knees bent and tucked under your armpits. Plant her feet on the seat beside you and ask your girl to hold onto your shoulders or the back of the chair for support. The movement of the water will determine how frenzied of a sex session you’ll have, but that’s not a bad thing since most women prefer a little bit of a slower experience while building to climax anyway.

CLIMAX CUE

In this position, she can control the speed and depth of penetration, and has lots of leverage to grind her clitoral head into you. If she wants more of a thrill, get your girl to tilt her pelvis towards you, and she’ll feel the G-Spot stimulation almost immediately. Or, turn on the water jets in the hot tub and sit on one, spreading your legs.

The flow will hit every girl right where she needs it, like a makeshift water vibrator. Avoid grabbing the hips and trying to push/pull. Trying to control the thrusting from this position will just be plain annoying, so don’t bother.

2. Lotus

Sit down with your legs crossed in the middle of a bed or on the floor. Your partner straddles your lap so that the girl’s legs wrap around your back and she supports herself with your arms, shoulders and torso.

Gently enter the vagina, rocking back and forth in slow motion to increase pleasure for both of you. If she finds this position to be filling her too deeply, get the girl to move back slightly on your upper thighs so she has more control over the penetration.

CLIMAX CUE

Of all the positions in this eBook, this is the one that received the gross majority of the thumbs-up votes from sex experts and couples alike. In fact, most of the educators I spoke with suggested starting with this position before trying any others, as it’s almost guaranteed with enough time to get her in the right head space and body position to cum.

The rocking movement allows for long, gliding penetration, covering the entire length of the vagina. The G-Spot receives lots of attention too, as does her clitoral hood and head because of the angle and speed. She can also press her breasts up against your body to increase the heat, and make intimate eye contact for mind-blowing bliss.

This is one of the tamer positions in this eBook, but don’t let it fool you can hold this position for hours if need be, and it’ll provide most of the stimulation she craves to get off.

3. Lie Back Lotus

Yoga aficionados will appreciate this intricate sex position. Find a comfortable spot on the floor and sit down with your legs crossed. Invite your lover to sit on your lap with her legs wrapped around your body and have her lay back on the ground, supporting her with your crossed legs.

Penetrate her, making sure that your pelvises are tightly pressed against one another, and your bodies are snug in an embrace. Grasp each other’s wrists and arch both of your backs slowly, leaning back until both of your heads touch the ground. If your penis falls out (and it may if you weren’t tightly enmeshed before you moved backwards) scoot your bum forward and slowly sit up.

Put yourself back inside her, and slowly lie back again. Your knees should prop her up mid-back, and hers should do the same for you. Move with gentle thrusts toward each other, with pelvic lifts, or subtle leg movements.

CLIMAX CUE

It might not seem like a doozie of a sex position, but this little number is something that especially that comes to mind when tantra or yoga fans talk about ‘yoking’. No, that’s not the yellow part of an egg, but rather the word that yoga aficionados use to describe an inseparable connection between two things.

In yoga this refers to the spirit and the body, but in tantra it refers to two people coming together. By lying in this position, you’re choosing to connect with your partner on a higher, more spiritual plane which for some women is crucial to sexual release.

If she tells you she doesn’t feel connected to you or that the spark is somehow lacking, try this position and see if she feels the same way afterward. My guess is that you’ll be coming together in more ways than one!

In the same manner, different parts of her body will profit from varied types of oral stimulation. Classically, there are 5 ORAL TECHNIQUES. One may KISS, LICK, SUCK, BITE & BLOW (KLSBB).

Here’s the guideline for each:

KISS – kiss everywhere
LICK – lick everywhere
SUCK – everything “suckable”
BITE – everything “bite-able”…but not too hard.
BLOW – everywhere on the skin except into the vagina and anus (and very gently on the ears)

For the tender and supple parts, we generally use the gentler and softer variety. The breasts for example, enjoy soft sucks & kisses and mellow biting. For firm, muscularly dense areas like the butt, the harder variety may be applied. But extra-light oral sex can sometimes be better.

1. Put Your Hands To Good Use

And not only the hands, but the rest of your body. Sometimes people are so into the kiss that the mouth becomes the center of the universe. While this is not bad, mouth-to-mouth action doesn’t have to be the sole event. Kiss not just with your lips, but with your hands as well. Put them to good use by stroking her face, back, buttocks or sides – (avoid the breasts too early in the game). Time hand strokes with tonguing to add pizzazz to frenching.

2. Use Yummy Sounds While You’re At It

Simple as it may seem, a “Mmmmm” once in a while, is a potent motivator. It narrates pleasure, spurring on the players. Yummy sounds could be the beginning of a torrid sex session. You’re boosting her confidence with those sounds, and when you’ve got a confident woman in your hands, who knows what she’s going to do next?!

3. Relax Your Tongue

When it comes to frenching, a soft and slow tongue is much better than a hard, pointy one, flicking rapidly. Relax your tongue as it dances with hers. A spatula in the mouth is very weird.

4. Kiss Without Gunning For Sex

Kissing for its own sake works wonders. But kissing angled at getting laid could actually turn her off and activate her flight tendencies. In the end, she may give you the “I have a headache” line. When that happens, you’ve lost twice – you didn’t get to enjoy the kiss, and you didn’t have the sex.

By kissing for the moment, you win twice – you not only enjoy the oral event, but also get to be with her. The choice sounds easy, but in reality, when a boy gets into these situations, it’s easier to fall to the temptation of pushing for the lay than allowing the kisses to work their magic.

Let us now get into the business of eye contacts – another untapped powerhouse. A look is just as powerful as a kiss. One can actually affect somebody from a distance just by looking at them – that’s power!

Most men don’t need a lot of convincing to try doggy style sex, but some women require a bit of encouragement because of the lack of face-to-face contact which can, at times, lead to a disconcerting disconnected feeling. Try out some of these rear-entry positions that will allow your lady lots of body contact, some unusual positioning, and a little extra bang for her buck!

1. Superwoman

If your partner has ever expressed an interest in flying, this might be a go-to position in the near future! To get into it, seat yourself on the edge of your bed with your feet planted firmly on the floor. Ask your partner to sit down on your lap with her back to you, straddle your legs with her knees on the bed.

Enter her, making sure that she’s flush up against your pubic region, then put your arms around her firmly and push her gently forward. Her legs should kick back so that they lay straight on the bed, with your arms stopping her from falling on her face. If either of you struggle to get into sex positions, try having her in doggy position at the edge of the bed, and then crouch down behind her before entering her.

It shouldn’t be too hard from that angle for you to sit down, put yourself into her, and then encourage your lover to stretch her legs out behind her. Movement occurs both with her toes pushing back against the bed to thrust, and your hands pulling her into you with your arms either around her waist or grasping tightly to her upper arms, just above the elbow.

CLIMAX CUE

There’s a lot of friction inherent in this position because of her body position and the angle of penetration. As well, you’ll have a front row seat to massage her G-Spot, and could even attempt anal sex in this position if either of you so desired. To ensure she experiences enough tension to climax, get her to grind her pelvis into your penis, and squeeze her legs around your torso.

If she gets tired, have her lean forward to prop herself up with her hands on the ground or your thighs, and use that leverage to pump into her with even more force. This position is all about rhythm, so find the right position and you’ll find her sweet spot. Just don’t go so far overboard that you launch her off the bed and flat on her face!

2. Let’s Do The Twist

Best performed on the floor, or near a couch / sturdy chair, this half twist, half hitch rear-entry position works well for women who like to grind themselves into their partner for clitoral stimulation, and for men who don’t mind lending a helping hand.
To get into position, start in standard doggy with both of your knees on the ground and her bum flush up against your genitals.

Get her to raise one of her legs with her knee bent, and stick your leg on the same side of your body underneath it to prop her leg up. She’ll need to lean over to get to the right angle, so have her bend forward slightly at the waist and hold onto whatever nearby stable piece of furniture there is.

Your partner should then scoot back so that you can enter her easily. Pull her leg back as far as it can go with your arm, so she’s really snug. Using your arm and leg as leverage, she can now rock herself on your penis and stimulate her clitoris with your leg, her free hand, or both.

CLIMAX CUE

There may not be a lot of thrusting inherent in this movement, but it will certainly set off most of her orgasmic triggers. You have G-Spot action, ample clitoral stimulation, plus an added bonus of putting her in a position that feels restrictive. This is definitely a great pose for women with submissive tendencies, maximizing the the chance of orgasm.

Holding this position for any length of time shouldn’t be too difficult for either of you, so it’s a great go-to when you want a bit of a change from normal doggy, plus it’ll give her more of what she needs to climax.

3. The Rear Snuggle

Lay down on your back with your entire body relaxed and your arms loose at your sides. Have your wife come over to you and gently lay on top of the length of your body, with her back to your stomach. Get her to bend one of her knees so that it’s off to the side, with her ankle touching your hip area, while leaving her other leg straight and ready to use as leverage. She should be resting comfortably against your torso.

Next, slide yourself into her and have her lean further back until your heads are side-by-side, cuddling into each other. Her arms should reach around the back of your head for more support, which will also arch her back in turn, giving both of you a better angle for penetration and G-Spot stimulation. With your right hand, reach over her body and stimulate her clitoral head. Once she’s really excited, start rocking back and forth in a relaxed manner to increase the friction.

CLIMAX CUE

There won’t be a lot of movement with this sex position, but that’s okay because she won’t need it. Keep yourself fully inserted into her as much as possible. If you fall out, simply ask her to arch her back more, or push against her bent leg to find a better angle. Gently stroke toward you, or have her show you with her own hand how she likes to have her clitoris stroked, and you’ll both be rocketing to orgasm in no time.

Related articles:

1. 5 Rear Entry Positions For Better Sex TONIGHT!
2. The Best Sex Positions To Make A Woman Orgasm Quicker
3. 3 Sex Positions GUARANTEED To Make A Woman Orgasm!
4. How To Get Her To Orgasm Faster During Sex
5. 3 Seated Sex Positions To Give Your Girl AMAZING Orgasms

Cunnilingus, in simple terms, is oral sex for women. Cunnilingus gives a heightened sexual excitation in women. If you don’t know how to do this, then it will turn out to be just another forgettable experience for her.

But with these 3 tips below, you will certainly triumph in bed and give her a truly memorable erotic adventure – complete with powerful orgasms, no less!

1. The Art Of Moving Your Tongue!

This can actually be compared to how a cat or a dog drinks from a bowl of water. Try observing these animals when they drink; you will see how their tongues move in and out of their mouths at a really fast pace.

This is exactly what your tongue should do when performing oral sex on a woman and put her in the mood quickly. To bring this intimate mood to the next level, get creative and try out various tonguing strokes (hint: circular strokes produce a tantalizing effect on most women).

2. Humming

To give your tongue some needed rest in between strokes, and to spice things up a little, try the “humming” technique. Make use of any melody that you can think of and hum it, with the position of your head remaining unchanged.

The vibration from the sound you are making will reach the vagina, providing additional stimulation to her clitoris.

3. Sex Toys Can Be Your Best Friends

Here’s a fact: No matter how good you are in bed, sometimes you need a little “help” to maximize her pleasure. Why not bring along something that can help you in bed, like a sex toy? You just need to know where and when you are going to use these.

I would recommend choosing a toy that is intended for anal stimulation. This is one of the most pleasurable sexual acts if done in a proper manner. Anal stimulation, together with clitoral stimulation with your tongue, can provide a deadly “combo” and trigger an intense female orgasm.

By giving your lady the satisfaction from oral sex, you can expect to be amply rewarded with something titillating in return… well, which hot-blooded man would refuse a fellatio (or male oral sex) in return? I bet you wouldn’t!

Although she could be displeased with her man in the bedroom, her lack of sexual desire and orgasms is usually related to much more than his faulty techniques and inability to give her an orgasm.

The good news is that such problems can be resolved. But for that to happen, you must be willing and able. So if she does not have a desire for sex and ability to have an orgasm is lacking, take a deep breath, blow it out, and find comfort in knowing that this problem can be fixed. Neither of you are doomed to a sex life without pleasure.

In fact, if you follow all of the steps you will be able to provide her with what she needs to “want” to have sex and to achieve orgasm. The following sex tips are a few things you can do to help ease any tension that may exist between the two of you and open her mind to exploring new sexual terrain with you:

Don’t Be Negative

If you accuse your partner of being frigid or lying there like a cold, dead fish, you’ll cause her to retreat from sex even more. So do the opposite. Lift her self-esteem and shower her with compliments (sexual and otherwise). Help her to feel comfortable about talking about her sexual issues with you by sharing all of the positive thoughts you have about her.

Don’t Pressure Her Into Having An Orgasm

Pressuring your lady to have an orgasm when she doesn’t feel like it will only make her want to avoid it more. Remove the pressure by making it clear to her that you will never get upset with her or offended if she doesn’t have an orgasm or doesn’t feel like having sex. If pressuring her, sulking or getting angry is what you’ve typically done in the past, let her know those days are over and never do it again!

Discuss The Issue With Her

Find some quiet time to have a talk with your lady about her difficulty achieving an orgasm. Tell her you’ve noticed that she doesn’t seem to climax as often as you would like for her to. Ask her why, and be sure she knows you are only trying to get some answers, not make her feel bad. Ask her some pointed questions: Is she tired or do your methods need some improvement?

Does she want more foreplay? Would a sensual massage help? Provide her with support if her inability to orgasm is due to a painful past. Let your lady know you understand. Tell her you understand how painful it must be for her. Encourage her to talk to a counselor who specializes in sexual problems in women.

Be sure not to force her to tell you every sordid detail about her experience. But let her know that you are there for her if she wants to talk. Never judge her, and do your best to avoid offering her advice. Just listen and provide her with lots of nonsexual hugs.

Tell Her How Much You Love Her

A woman never tires of hearing her man say, “I love you.” And a woman who feels loved and secure will be more likely to relax and trust enough to allow you to satisfy her deepest desires. There’s a lot you can do to sexually arouse her and provide your girl with the stimulation she needs to have an orgasm.

Just keep in mind that it doesn’t happen overnight. If bringing her to a female orgasm has been a challenge in the past, then it’s going to take some time, effort, understanding, and practice before you are able to give her the Big O.

But that’s not all it’s going to take. It’s also going to take lots of KNOWLEDGE! And that’s exactly what you’re getting by reading this book. So keep reading—the best has yet to come (no pun intended)!

1. Change Your Thinking

You need to permanently change your thinking around oral sex. Weirdly enough, if you want to get more head in your life you need to treat blowjobs as “no big deal.” If getting a blowjob is the “be all, end all” of your sexuality then it becomes too much pressure for her. If it’s “just something fun you guys can do” it’s more likely to happen and happen often.

2. Don’t Beg – EVER

Most women want their man to be the dominant but respectful one in the sexual relationship. That means you CAN NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DESIRES. If you ever act embarrassed by something you want sexually your odds of getting it go WAY down. Whether you want her to go down on you or put on a sexy clown costume and juggle your balls, you need to OWN your desire and have confidence about it. This can be hard to pull off, but it’s incredibly important.

3. Don’t Be Misogynistic

This whole method is based around loving and respecting women. In my own life I’ve discovered that the more I respect and adore women the dirtier, sexier and weirder things they’ve been willing to do with me. Even if you really want to be dominant with a woman, the best way to get there is to have a sincere desire to give her pleasure and to have FUN with her.

4. Make It About BOTH Of You

You need to start thinking of blowjobs as “something you guys SHARE” instead of something she does for you. This is a really important distinction. Once you internalize this concept you’ll both start having a lot more fun with your sexual fantasies. It’s got to be fun for both of you.

What She Said:

Congratulate Yourself!

First of all, if your man is complaining of blue balls, check his ID.  No adult man would own up to the idea you are giving him blue balls.  And I have yet to know of any man who died of it.  I’m not sure it even exists.

But if for some reason your man is complaining of it, then you should congratulate him. He is obviously with one smoking hot babe that he cannot wait to get his hands all over.

So if he is “in pain,” it’s not your fault by any means. You have obviously just made him all hot and bothered. To relieve that, fool around with him.

What He Said:

Just Do It!

How do you prevent your man from getting blue balls? You drain them. On a regular basis. I know, I know, you’re not always in the mood. Maybe you’re never in the mood. Maybe he’s let himself go or maybe he’s not flirting with you or romancing you like he did when you first started dating (or before you got married).

Long term relationships are about doing things you hate because you know your other half likes or loves them. Just please them. I know you make not like oral sex or you may not be turned on enough for intercourse, but so what? Did your partner really want to spend Christmas with your family? Hell no! They hate your family! But they did it because they want their balls to be drained.

Romance is for short term love affairs. Sooner or later it goes right out the window and if it’s never happened to you, you’ve never had a relationship last long enough. If that’s you, consider yourself lucky.

You’re probably thinking “hey wait! They’re not doing [insert random sexual or non sexual task/think you really like]! Why they hell would I please them if they aren’t doing what I want?

It’s simple, grasshopper. If you help them, they will do what you want. Having sex will scramble their brain and reduces any resistance to suggestion that they have. You won’t have to tell them to do what you want. You can imply it and they will snap to attention, even if you don’t scramble their brains by giving them all the oral sex, anal sex or plain old intercourse they can handle.

Why? Because if you’re screwing them eight ways to Sunday, and you ask them to go to Starbucks and get you that half double cap red eye latte that makes them cringe when you order it, are they really going to say no? No, they won’t. They will get you your stupid frilly over priced coffee drink. Why? Because you’re screwing them! A lot!

No one is dumb enough to walk away from an ATM that’s spitting out free money. So you will get your damn latte. Or your foot massage. Or someone to cuddle with while you watch Oprah or Jersey Shore or whatever it is that you love to do that your partner would rather take a cheese grater to the genitals than participate in.

It’s a win win, right? It’s a little counter-intuitive, I know. It really doesn’t make sense. You probably think I’m crazy. Or you will, until you try it. Then you will tell anyone who will listen what an incredible genius I am (it’s true. I am a genius. Literally and figuratively).

If you do this, you will have the partner of your dreams! You’re place will never be cleaner, you’ll never be happier and it might just save your relationship! Sound hokey, no, no it’s not. Sex is like the canary in the well of your relationship. If that’s great, so’s the rest of your relationship.

Now, of course, you should be getting yours. If you have to drain your partners balls whenever and wherever, they should be helping you too. You need to get yours. You will. Because they’re getting theirs.

What most men fail to do is to admit that they have a problem. They are unwilling to seek help or bring this up with their sexual partners, hoping that the problem will go away with time. This is completely understandable, as there is a lot of stigma associated with not being able to last in bed. It is embarrassing, to say the least. It makes you feel less of a man.

Beat Premature Ejaculation

Bringing this issue out in the open is the first important step to beating premature ejaculation. Your wife, lover or girlfriend has a stake in the relationship, and you would love to give her the best in bed, don’t you? So it makes perfect sense to involve her in every way possible.

In fact, your woman would be more than willing to help you regain your confidence and ability in the sack. After all, her own sexual happiness is at stake. If you can last longer, her sexual fulfillment will potentially go UP too!

Most cases of PE arise from a lack of understanding of one’s bodily reactions to sexual stimulation. As a result, most men do not know how to control their orgasm reflexes until it is too late. Just like how you can improve various aspects of your body, beating early ejaculation is a “learned trait”. It is a skill that some men hone and perfect after consistent PRACTICE. But sadly, most men never get down to it, thinking there is nothing they can do about it.

Train For Endurance

Certain targeted techniques such as synchronized breathing, mental manipulation, and ejaculatory muscle exercises are great sex techniques to improve your stamina in the sack. While some sexual therapists charge exorbitant fees to teach you these methods, you can easily learn them on your own from home (there are plenty of good quality, informative guides online).

These methods basically condition both your mind and body to improve your ability to withstand intense stimulation and forever banish the pain and frustration of finishing too soon!

Related articles:

1. Stop Premature Ejaculation And Never Be Embarrassed Again!
2. How To Delay Your Ejaculation And Develop A Superhuman Sexual Stamina (For Embarrassed Men Only!)
3. 1 Simple, Brilliantly Naughty Secret To Last Longer In Bed & Speed Up HER Orgasm!
4. Last Longer In Bed – 3 Shortcuts So Effective, You’ll Both Reach New Levels Of Pleasure!
5. Premature Ejaculation – How Kegels Can Help You Last 20 Minutes Longer In Bed

What She Said (For Girls)

1.    Thou Shalt Bring Protection

You can buy condoms anywhere and they are super easy to carry around with you. Do it, keep them close at all times. You might also want to bring a small tube of lubricant around with you.

2.    Thou Shalt Get Off

Just because it’s a hook up, and men have been known to wham bam and thank you ma’am, does not mean you can’t “rock, sock and thank you jock.” You have every right to tell him what you need, where you need it and not to stop.  Or climb on top and take matters into your own hands.

Basically just because you are a woman doesn’t mean you can’t get off too. Use sex toys if you have them or if he has them, but remember to put a condom on them.

3.    Thou Shalt Not Leave Anything At His Place

Especially if it is intentional!  If you think that by leaving your earrings or panties etc is a hot move it is not!  Guys see through that.  They think you are either desperate for another romp, or careless. Be discreet, aside from a few scratch marks, you should leave nothing at his place.

4.    Thou Shalt Suggest Breakfast In The Morning

Maybe you know of a great diner near you, or he knows of one near him.  Regardless if the night ended well, why not refuel.  Who knows it might lead to a little afternoon delight.

5.    Thou Shalt Not Be Forced To Cuddle

If you are staying over, or he is staying at your place cuddling is not a given.  You should not feel obligated to be the little spoon nor should you feel that he should spoon you. Sleep how you would if you were alone, but seeing how you two just shared fluids, you should make sure you share the covers.

6.    Thou Shalt Not Expect A Relationship

Sometimes hook ups end up being more, sometimes they are all they need to be. Either way, enjoy the moment and don’t expect anything out of it.

7.    Thou Shalt Make Sure He Is Single

Don’t be that girl!  Even if you don’t know his girlfriend, respect their relationship.  I don’t care how hot the guy may be, he is obviously a scumbag if he is ok with cheating.

8.    Thou Shalt Have A Morning After Outfit

Keep an extra pair of jeans, t-shirt and shoes in your car.  When you are in casual clothes, the walk of shame becomes just a walk.

What He Said (For Guys)

1. Thou Shalt Text The Morning After, No Matter What

It doesn’t matter if you regret it. Or if it was bad, or if it was good, but you never want to see that person again. You should always aspire to leave someone better than you found them in all circumstances. Hooking up is no different.

The morning after text, if you will, is part of that. Being used in a fun way is one thing, but just plain being used is not fun. This is especially important for guys to remember.

For women, sex is a choice, for guys it’s a chore. If you leave this girl on bad terms, you’re not messing it up for yourself, you’re messing it up for every guy that will come after you. So be classy and master the art of the dismount. Or none of us will get laid ever again.

2. Thou Shalt Be Realistic

This is basically just sex, and by basically, I mean totally. It’s not a romantic comedy. It’s not going to lead to a wonderful romance with the person of your dreams, at least it’s not likely too. You want some ass, they want some ass and then you can both meet in the middle.

Don’t get all Oprah on them. Don’t’ ask about their puppies or their childhood or what they like to do when they’re not having sex with you. They don’t care about your background and you shouldn’t about theirs.

3. Thou Shalt Not Worry About Them Getting Theirs

One of the nicest things about hooking up is that there’s no pretense about it. You don’t have to pretend to care about them, or their feelings, or whether they get off. Get yours and getting theirs is their problem.

4. Thou Shalt Think Of This As Batting Practice

You may not care about the person you’re banging randomly, but there will come a time when you meet someone you really do care about and maybe even love. You might want to spend the rest of your life with them.

Don’t Linger In The “ZONE”

Remember the old rule of show business: “leave ‘em wanting more.” You need to be the one to end the conversation and excuse yourself while the interaction is at a high point, so that she wants to see you again soon and pick up where you left off.

Otherwise, the longer you drag out the interaction, the greater the chance that she will feel she needs to get back to hustling and making money. Even if she’s totally into the conversation, she can only talk to you for so long before she’ll start to feel that she needs to get back to work.

2 Ways To Close A Stripper On Duty

1. Get Her Phone Number

Plan on calling her/texting her soon to see her outside of the strip club. Hopefully tonight. Be sure to find out during the conversation when her shift ends.

2. Use A 2nd Location

If her shift ends within the next few hours, make a plan to meet her at another location. I suggest you make it a late-night restaurant—strippers are usually hungry after working a long shift.  The key is to invite her to come along and join you somewhere. Lay out a specific plan that is easy for her to agree with.

Set Your Plans In Stone

You may have no intention of heading to this place later tonight, if you’re alone, but you’ve got to present it this way to her—as if your plans for later on are already set, and she’s welcome to come along so you can continue this cool conversation.

In U.S. cities, restaurants like Denny’s, I-Hop, etc are good locations for the meet. Even better are local pub-restaurants where you can grab a burger and some drinks afterwards.

Make it a place that she’s probably already familiar with. If she has no idea where it is, she’s very unlikely to try to drive around and find it in the middle of the night.

Don’t Even Bother Trying To Make A “Date Plan”

Inviting her to dinner or a movie next week while you’re talking to her in the club or while you’re getting a lap dance is pretty much hopeless. If you try to suggest this, she’ll probably agree to it, out of politeness, but she’ll forget all about it as soon as you leave. Besides, she’ll probably be working that night.

Always try to sleep with her tonight. Strippers usually lead busy, hectic (if not chaotic) lives and meet new guys every day. Trying to build a “friendship first” and taking it slow is the downfall of many guys when they’re trying to hook up with women—and this is especially true when you are dealing with strippers. Strike while the iron is hot and the sparks are flying!

Make The First Conversation A Winner!

The first conversation is all about gathering information on her,  communicating your confident, playful personality, and working towards the “close.” Guide the conversation along—never allowing her to control the conversation and the topics—and build your bond with her using the right body language.

Learn the special details about her that you know she doesn’t share with her customers. This ensures that when you do call or text her, she’ll immediately remember who you are, and you can refer to things you talked about—especially the private “in jokes” you shared.

Use these massage techniques before anal sex.

1. Put Her In The Mood

Relax before you start in order to make sure that your hands are up for the effort (you wouldn’t want to stop after two minutes, leaving her eager for more).

Lie her on her stomach, her legs slightly parted for the erotic massage.

Slide your hands to her buttocks with soft caresses, using any relaxation or toning oil you have at hand.

Aromatherapy is a powerful tool for stimulating arousal in both men and women, so you might want to choose the fragrance of your oil carefully before having sex.

2. Use The Right Oils

• Orange blossom, it has a sedative and relaxation power. It transports one to a dreamlike state. If she loves romance you want to show her that anal pleasure can be romantic also.
• Cinnamon, perfect if she usually lacks sexual desire, is moody and hard to satisfy. The smell of cinnamon will enhance her senses and he’ll be more open to experimenting.
• Mint, tonic and stimulant, it will wake not only her body, but also her mind. If she just got back from work and she’s tired, use some mint oil to get her whole body going your way.
• Lemon, energy inducing! It also reduces inflammation of the erogenous zones.
• Patchouli, it is perfect to calm excessive anxiety, so it should be on your top list of choices. Fill the whole room with patchouli smelling candles and she’ll feel more OK with the idea, though she won’t really know what changed her mind.
• Rose, a tonic for the heart, stomach, liver, and uterus, it regulates the functioning of the female sex organs. I’m sure she must have something which contains roses perfume in her beauty cupboard.

Use These 3 Types Of Manipulation

1. Rubbing

Place your hands flat on your girl’s back, with your fingers relaxed, and apply pressure. Make small circular movements with your thumbs or the pads of your fingers, traveling up the inside edges of her cheeks and back down the outsides. This has a relaxing effect, which is felt at the nerves located under the skin.

2. Kneading

Kneading consists of energetic motions that imitate the kneading of dough, and is particularly helpful for releasing accumulated tension. To do it well, you must press the skin between your thumb and your fingers and sink the thumb into the muscle mass.

With your fingers, push the muscle toward you again. Move your hands, alternating between one and the other, pressing, pushing, and lifting the skin.

3. Friction

Friction consists of pressing rather small, specific areas, which induces a very pleasant, restful sensation. It is important to push the tip of the thumb downward and perform short rotational motions to achieve a deeper penetration.

What She Said:

I think this might be more fantasy then fetish.

Whether its BDSM, high heels or having your eyeballs licked, everyone has a sexual trigger, a turn on, a mild or full-blown fetish.  This day and age with so many easy access to porn online and “personal” massagers that you can pick up at the grocery store, it seems that everyone has an easy outlet for their turn on.

With so many odd fetishes it makes me wonder if regular vanilla sex is now the odd sex act. When you are in a sexual relationship, you want to do any thing and everything to please your partner. But, how do you handle them having this interest that you are not in to?  Maybe your guy is into a 3 some with Asians.  That idea is a turn off to you.

But before you worry about him jumping on a plane to Thailand, there are options. You could watch some Asian porn with him. Or why not dress up like a geisha. What if your man is into hardcore SM?  And your idea of a hot night does not include you dressed in leather wielding a horse whip.

As a compromise, you could wear big black boots and spank him a little. Basically every fetish has its oddities.  But in a relationship the best gift we can give our partner sexually is to offer them a safe place to share their fantasies with you.  A safe place to experiment and a place where there is no judgment.

No matter how kinky you find it to be, if you are open and honest with him about his desires, he in turn will be open to yours.  One night you smack him around a bit, and the next he might give it to you good ol missionary style.

What He Said

Be Proud Of Your Fetishes And Fantasies

I really think that thanks to the internet, vanilla sex is the new kinky sex. It’s like “Really? You just want to pound me missionary style? And a little oral sex? Well, you did buy me dinner and a movie. But that’s way too crazy for me! Can’t you just do something normal like punch me in the vagina repeatedly while humming the Star Spangled Banner and making tacos?” 
No?

That’s never happened to you, well, if it hasn’t you’re just not doing it right. It’s your duty to please that booty, so you should at least try to do what your partner is into. Don’t want to? Well, I’ve got news for you sparky.

You might not want to try oral sex or anal sex, but I guarantee your partner doesn’t want to do half the things they do just so they can get in your pants. That’s what love is: doing things you’d rather take a cheese grater to the genitals than do just to get laid. I mean for the one you love.

I think a lot of people are irrationally afraid of coming out to their partners about their fetishes, or fantasies whatever they may be. It doesn’t matter how weird or depraved or sick your sexual fantasy is. Someone wants to do it with you.

If that’s what your into, then be out and proud about it. If your partner isn’t into it, and you can’t come to some kind of understanding on the subject, then that’s a deal breaker. Get rid of them. It may suck, but finding your type of sex is an important key to happiness. I think Buddha said that. Or Oprah. Same thing.

They say life is too short to be unhappy. That’s not true. Life is too long when you’re unhappy. It goes by slow. Like slower than being suck on a Stairmaster next to someone having a conversation on their cell phone while reading a book on their iPad all while “exercising.”

Life is only short if you’re having fun. It’s the times that people enjoy that go fast. The things that suck (and not in a fun way) go by very, very slowly, and will eat you from the inside and literally kill you with boredom, worry, stress and all other manners of boring shit.

That doesn’t mean you have to get rid of your current lover. Just talk to them and be honest about who and what you are and what you are into sexually. You’ll both be glad you did.

Well Trimmed Nails

A not so perfect manicure is a no-go when it comes to any kind of sex, not just anal. With anal though, given the fact that the tissue of the anus and anal canal is much more delicate than that of the vagina, taking care of your nails before getting down to business is a very crucial factor.

Chipped, dirty nails may tear the skin and cause unwanted infections. If you are planning to wear latex gloves, don’t think that this way you can save the money spent on a decent manicure. If your nails are too long or too irregular or pointy, they can tear through the latex, and even if they don’t, your girlfriend or wife might still feel them, which can cause tremendous discomfort.

Make sure you cut them really short and even, so that they are smooth and don’t get stuck through layers of skin during anal fingering.

Shaved Butt And Empty Bowels

As well versed as she might be when it comes to her pubic hair, given the fact that the anus is not in plain sight most of the time, she might not come prepared at this aspect. If you don’t mind the hairs surrounding her anus, then it’s absolutely no problem, but if you are planning on some analingus as well, you might want her to come forth with a shaved butt.

In this case, it will be more effective if you’re the one holding the razor, given the fact that she can’t really see her back parts, and can end up hurting herself. As long as you have the right tools – a good shaving cream (a non-irritating one would be perfect), a sharp razor and willingness and attention, the whole experience is not bound to last more than a few minutes and it’s a good first step that can be turned into anal foreplay.

However, if things don’t go as perfect as planned and she ends up with a few minor bruises, as superficial as they might be, don’t have anal penetration right away; there’s a good chance you’ll enhance her irritation.

As far as cleanliness inside her butt is concerned, as always, this matters more to some people than others. There are a few basic rules that shouldn’t be looked upon superficially though. The first one, she should have a bowel movement an hour or so before you two have anal sex, to ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration, and then thoroughly bathe the area.

Bulb Enemas

This type of enema is filled and used in the same way that one uses an ear syringe to clean the wax out of one’s ears. You fill it by squeezing the air out of it, placing the tip under the surface of the container holding the solution and releasing the bulb, thus filling the syringe with solution.

The enema is administrated by inserting the tip into the rectum and squeezing the solution into the bowels. You can buy this type of enema at most local drug stores and give it to your girlfriend so that she can use it to her convenience.

Enema Bag/Hot water Bottle Enemas

Giving yourself an enema with an enema bag and plastic tubing (also called a fountain syringe) takes a little more skill. If your girlfriend or wife is not accustomed with the rules, hand her these instructions or offer to help before having sex.

Here’s what you have to do: you need an enema bag (which resembles a hot water bottle with a nozzle on the bottom), tubing, and a hook of some kind to hang the bag on (over either the toilet or the tub).

Lubricants And Condoms

It’s only in porn films that saliva and free-flowing love juices provide enough lubrication to fully enjoy anal sex. Non lubricated penetration causes friction of the worst kind and can tear the sensitive  tissue of the anus or the anal canal. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce a natural lubricant, only a sort of mucus, but that is definitely not enough.

Water Based

Lubricant comes in two forms: liquid-like (just like plain water, odorless, tasteless, non-staining and non-irritating) and jelly like (it preserves the same properties as the first one, the only difference is that this one has a thicker consistency, like hair gel for example). The first one is probably the most popular, though some people complain that it wears off too easily and you have to reapply it ever so often. My advice? Try them both and see which works best in your case.

Oil Based

The good thing about these ones: they don’t dry off like their water counterparts. The bad thing: they break down latex and pretty
much ruin your protection. Moreover, they don’t wash off as easily as the water based ones and can lead to serious infections.

Silicone Based

This is the best option for you because it lasts a long time, stays where you put it, and doesn’t evaporate- unlike water based lube- and it’s latex compatible- unlike oil based lube. As far as condoms are concerned, there are a few things that it’s imperative you know before having first time anal sex.

We go from limp to hard in a matter seconds. While this is great for a quickie, women typically want more than just a 5 second romp in the dressing room at Dillards. Getting your girl to the edge before you start having sex will not only make her orgasm more intense, it can keep the sex fresh. Here are a few tips for making foreplay great for her.

Slow It Down

How long is your normal regiment of foreplay? 5-10 minutes? Do you remember in college when you would hook up with a girl and you weren’t too sure if she was going to let you go all the way? Remember how you would do everything possible to get the girl so turned on that she would not be able to say no?

This is the kind of foreplay that you want to implement with your girlfriend. Slow everything down to half time. If you normally went 5-10 minutes before sex, make it 20 minutes. There is no time limit on how much you need. Get your girl to the point where she is trying to put you inside her and then stop everything. Go a little more and when she tries again, let her.

Implement Barriers

Foreplay is commonly started before sex is even an option. One of the best ways that you can get any girl begging you to have sex is to set up barriers. This is talked about a lot in pick up artist methods. Barriers are basically situations where you cannot have sex immediately. Getting started in public is one of the best methods.

When you’re out at a bar or a restaurant, start being flirty. Touch the girl in places that are socially acceptable while still being erotic. The small of the back, the stomach and the face work well. Brushing the hair out of her eyes works well too. Whisper things in her ear about how much you want to get away from the crowd. This will start to get any girl going and the fact that you can’t have sex right then and there will make it even more erotic.

Use A LOT Of Kissing

Kissing is one of the best foreplay methods out there. While kissing is primarily done on the lips, you need to spread it out. Kiss the neck and the earlobes. Some women are really into having their earlobes kissed and sucked while others will find that it tickles them. Kiss the side of her neck and collarbone and then move your way down to the chest.

Don’t go for breasts immediately. This is an amateur move.  Work your way down her chest  and kiss her breasts in a fluid motion. Remember that you want to do this slowly. Make sure that you are not just focusing on the nipple. Kiss the area between her breasts to get her really turned on.

Use Porn If She’s Into It

While porn isn’t something that every girl is going to be into, it can make for some very hot foreplay. A lot of girls love porn and others hate it. Talk to your girlfriend before you toss on a porno movie. If you don’t have any porno movies, take a trip to your local adult store and buy one together.

You never know what you will find that can spice up the sex. Let her pick one out and then you pick one out. If you’re into something a little out there like fetishes or hardcore sex, make sure that she is going to be comfortable watching it. Turn on the porn before you start having sex to get things going. Kiss her and finger her during the movie to set the mood. Remember to be slow.

Use One Of Her Sex Toys

Sex toys are another way to get foreplay going easily. Most girls have a vibrator; however, if she doesn’t you can easily buy one online. Using a vibrator on your girlfriend or allowing her to use it on herself can be extremely erotic. Remember not to focus on just using the toy on her.

Kiss her and suck on her breasts. Kiss her neck and her stomach while you’re using the toy to enhance her experience. Most vibrators come with a clitoral stimulator. If the vibrator you have does not have a clitoral stimulator, pull it out and rub it on her clitoris to get her ready for you.

Some of these positions offer fantastic clitoral stimulation, while others give her G-Spot a run for its money. All of them allow your lover to take charge and do whatever works for her: fast, slow, vibrating, gliding, pounding, gentle, rhythmic, circular… why not try them all and see what works best?

One word of advice for men that find they have a tendency to slip out: get her to swivel around so that she’s either 90 (facing to the side) or 180 degrees  (facing the opposite direction) turned from where she started normally. This small adaptation makes a world of difference.

1. The Sprinter’s Stretch

Lay comfortably on your back with your legs spread and your knees bent up off the bed. Your arms should rest comfortably at your side. Have her sit on top in traditional woman on top position while having sex. From this position, have her put one foot flat on the ground with her knee raised as if she were squatting.

Get your lover to lean forward towards the foot that’s planted while she extends her other leg behind her. This leg should end up between your legs, and everything from her knee to her foot should touch the bed.

When done correctly, she’ll look like she’s stretching out on top of you in lunge position, and she’ll have lots of room to push back, forth, up, down and side to side while thrusting.

You can rest your hands on her hips as she glides you inside of her to help keep her steady and foster an intimate connection. After a while, remind her to switch legs so that they both get a good, equal stretching workout without any cramps. She may not notice when she has become uncomfortable until it’s too late.

CLIMAX CUE

This is one of the best positions in this eBook for clitoral stimulation during sex, and every woman who struggles to come during intercourse should try it at some point. She’ll receive deep penetration but can control just how deep you go into her with minute precision.

She can move in every direction because of the angle and positioning of her legs. She can grind her love button into your lower torso, and really give it the attention she needs to climax. You can help by holding onto her hips, playing with her breasts, or making sure that her labia lips are parted so that her clitoral head gets stimulated.

2. The Hot Rocker

Lie back on a rocking chair so that your shoulders are positioned at the base where the seat meets the back. Prop your head up and place the small of your back at the end of the chair seat with your buttocks and legs hanging off.

Place your feet firmly on the ground with your knees bent at a 180 degree angle, then ask your partner to straddle you with both of her feet also steady on the ground and put your penis inside of her. Hold her arms for balance, and then get her to lift her legs so that she hooks her ankles around your knees or calves, depending on what’s comfortable.

You should now be holding her entire body weight with your pelvis, knees and shoulders on the rocking chair. Keeping your back straight and erect is crucial to the success of this position, so it may help to find a rocking chair that has a deep seat so your hips and shoulders both fit.

Move by tilting your groin up, rocking your entire body, or lifting your heels. She can also rock the both of you by moving her head and torso back and forth in a swing-like motion.

CLIMAX CUE

You’ll have the leg control in this position, but she can easily maneuver herself exactly to create the right amount of friction by tilting her pelvis forward slightly and making sure she’s positioned on your penis just a bit higher than she normally would be.

It isn’t one of the sex positions that either of you will be able to sustain for long periods of time, unless your lower back is supported and she’s sitting higher on your penis than normal (or, I suppose, if you are both champion athletes!), but the feeling of weightlessness for her and the powerful strokes you can give her might just send her around the moon.

Why is this? This is because without displaying confidence, no amount of flirting will work. In fact, do you know that women can tell how confident you are just by the way you stand? Women always interpret your body language to see what’s REALLY going on.
So how can you portray to women a high level of self-respect that makes them feel attracted to you?

1.  Stand with Powerful Posture

Posture is extremely important when you flirt with women and it’s the most powerful way to convey power and confidence.

Here’s how to correct your posture:

1. Stand in front of a mirror
2. Puff out your chest and make your spine straight
3. Relax your shoulders

Bonus Step: Now slouch over and see how it makes you look. Which image do find more appealing?

Women can tell whether you’ll be interesting or not just by observing your posture as you approach them. And, although posture is important, eyes are your most important asset when it comes to successful body language and flirting.

2. Get Caught Looking

Eyes convey a tremendous amount of information about a person. When you keep eye contact with woman, you say an awful lot about your own self-esteem.

Do not look away when a woman looks at you. I repeat. DO NOT look away when a woman is looking at you. If you do, she will think, “He’s shy, has no confidence and if he has any feelings for me, he’s trying to hide them. I know this because he doesn’t even have the guts to keep looking and be honest about how he feels.”

If you want to utilize the single best way to instantly trigger a woman’s attraction, then keep looking when she looks over.

Here are the three quick steps:

1. Look in her direction until she looks over
2. Hold the look until she looks away
3. Walk over and start flirting with her

If you look at the ground because you’re shy your head will naturally point towards the ground. When your head faces downwards your shoulders tend to roll forward creating terrible posture. That’s why simply looking at the ground can repel a woman.

3. Tilt Your Chin Up

While eye contact and posture are your two most important assets to effectively flirt with women, the positioning of your head can add the finishing touches to your confidence. Understand this:

People want to be around people who are BETTER than they are
People want to hang out with people who are COOLER than they are
People want to learn from people with MORE EXPERIENCE than they have
People want to compete against people with MORE SKILLS than they have

And it’s exactly the same for women. A subtle way to fulfill this natural desire within people is to tilt your chin up, but still make eye contact with the woman while flirting.

Women love it when you’re very sure of yourself. While this technique may seem like a display of arrogance, it doesn’t come across that way.

Without going into it too much, women enjoy men who are arrogant in a humbling, sort of non-offensive, way. Notice how popular and rich people tend to project an aura of arrogance without offending?

Others respect these people because they respect themselves. Use this universal body language to subconsciously communicate success and self-respect. Soon others will believe this about you. Bottom line: Don’t be afraid of rejection. Others will comply.

4. Stand Reasonably Still

Nervous body language is your ticket to a night of loneliness. If you come across as nervous when you introduce yourself to a woman, you will make her nervous. Here are some examples of nervous behavior in a woman:

Flitting their eyes around
Scratching their back, neck, hands or face.
Shuffling their feet
Swaying left to right
Talking in an unnatural or rehearsed tone of voice
Speaking in a monotone and quiet voice
Fidgeting with accessories (phones, watches, bracelets or necklaces)

Sometimes less is more. The less you move your body the more attractive and confident you will appear when trying to meet women.

5. Reward Her with Smiles

This may be hard to understand, but don’t smile all the time. Guys often smile because they’re insecure, but this is not the reason you shouldn’t use your smile. When you can make a woman laugh, smile, and enjoy herself without too much facial expression, you increase the level of mystique surrounding yourself.

Think about it. If you tone down your facial expressions (while also eliminating nervous body language, as discussed above) you don’t give the woman any clear indication that you like her.

If she’s 100 percent sure you like her, there is no mystique. But if at the end of the interaction or date the woman still doesn’t know anything about you and your intentions, she’ll want to find out more. She becomes seduced by her own curiosity.

What She Said:

Every Woman is Different

Some like sex fast slow, hard, less hard etc. It’s impossible for a man to instant know EVERYTHING that a woman likes in bed even if you are getting sex tips all the time. But if he pays attention to her while in the act he can pick up on what’s working at what is not. One thing that a lot of women hate in bed is “Everything that you “once saw in a porno.’

Porn sex is not like real sex. Just because Misty McBigbush likes you to pull her hair while you slam into her doggie style, does not mean the girl from accounting is going to like that. Porn is super over the top in the sex movements and the sizes of woman’s throats.

That being said, if she wants to take your penis and put it in her mouth, you don’t have to grab her by the head and thrust it down her throat. That might make her mad and you are in no position to have her bite you.

A clue to see if she likes what you are doing is to watch her body. If she likes what your tongue is doing between her legs, she will make noises to let you know and most likely buck her hips towards you.

If she doesn’t like it, she will squirm away. Her voice is also key to whether or not you are hitting her sweet spot. Moaning and heavy breathing is a huge thumbs up, and if you hear a “yes” your golden.

She also hates sleeping in the wet spot. WE are adults we know if happens but please have the decency to lay down a towel and sleep on it yourself.

What He Said:

Don’t Rely On Porno Moves!

The truth is the biggest lie porn has ever told is perpetuating the myth of the female orgasm. We all know it’s not the role of women in sex to enjoy it. You’re just supposed to lay there and pretend it’s not happening, because either

A) We’re going to buy you stuff to get you to lay there

B) We already have. So seriously, just lay there and go to your happy place. Is that so hard?

It’s actually quite simple. Women will never tell you sex tips verbally, but they can’t help telling you physically. If she makes a face that looks like she’s constipated and stepping in dog crap simultaneously, you should probably not do that ever again, and work quickly to recover.

You may crash and burn several times, but be willing to fail. If she really likes you, you’ll get another chance and as long as you show improvement or a willingness to improve, you’ll get another crack at it and by “it” I mean, well, you can figure it out.

She may not tell you what she’s into, but just figuring out from body language what she doesn’t like is a huge help. Once you cross that off the list, then you can move on to what she is into.

Even if she’s the type to tell you straight out that you’re hitting the spot, if you’re doing it right, she will probably be too in the moment and wrapped up in pleasure to really communicate. If you’re doing it right, it should seem like your having sex with a person currently consumed by demonic possession.

Nice girls will suddenly shout out curse words or dig their nails into your back. Atheists will start talking to God, but not actually say anything to God, only repeating God’s name over and over and over and over. It may freak you out, but just go with it.

Even if she’s not talking, she will often guide you. If you’re performing oral sex on her, and she holds your head in place so you can’t come up for air, this is a good thing, if she lets you up to fuck her, well, maybe not so much, but you probably already know what she’s into on a gut level, you just have to tune into it a bit more. But it’s worth the practice.

Related articles:

1. 3 Mind Blowing Sex Techniques
2. How To Lick Her Clitoris And Make Her WET!
3. Sex Tips: The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make In Bed
4. Sex Tips: 4 Lovemaking Mistakes You MUST Avoid!
5. How To Get Out Of A Sex Routine

We now know that the muscular “flutter” that occurs during female orgasm helps to encourage fertility. The strong muscle contractions in the pelvis, vagina and uterus occur rapidly at less than one second apart, allowing the cervix to open up for incoming sperm.

The consequence of this is biologically significant and a verifiable physiological phenomena; couples who are able to have orgasms during penetrative sex are more likely to conceive. A recent study found that when a woman reaches climax anytime from one minute before and 45 minutes after her partner’s ejaculation takes up significantly more sperm than during sex when she does not orgasm.

Even more surprising, a woman has an orgasm before their lover by any more than one minute retains as little sperm as those who don’t orgasm at all, making it necessary for her to either orgasm during PIV sex, or find a partner who will continue to stimulate her after he has reached his own orgasm.

Rising Desire

Orgasm is a three-step process, the culmination of a lengthy build up beginning with psychological desire, climbing through the various plateaus physiological arousal and peaking in the spasmodic release of orgasm. There are some times in a woman’s monthly cycle when she may be naturally aroused both psychologically and physiologically, depending on the libido type, but these days are few and far between. The rest of the time, you’re going to need to know how to really touch the girl, inside and out, to get things moving in the right direction.

Building Arousal

The signs of physiological arousal are obvious, if you know what you are looking for and are paying attention. Increased blood
flow to the genitals caused by hot thoughts or stimulation results in swelling of the labia, clitoris and vagina. Increased lubrication helps make the peak experience of orgasm possible, opening a woman up for more intense activity.

This is prime time for using your ten best assets – your fingers! With such an incredible range of movement, those miraculous movers are exactly what you need to keep your woman going even when you can’t. And hey, your grand kids will secretly thank you for your Don Juan progeny.

If you go ahead and plunge into intercourse before she is fully aroused and open, you aren’t just depriving your girl of the pleasure of your hands, but actually decreasing the chances of being able to give her an orgasm with you inside! By “saving your energy” for the act of coitus itself, you are in fact ensuring that it doesn’t function properly.

Orgasmic Release

Orgasm is an extreme sensual experience. The heart races, breath quickens, pupils dilate, skin flushes, lips and breasts swell with anticipation of the pelvic floor muscles contracting and sending out a ripple-effect that emanates through the rest of the body.

Each woman experiences this process differently, and for most women, every orgasm is unique. Some may be the powerful, earth-shattering things we see in pornography or on television, but others are simpler, quieter and cascade like gentle waves along the body instead of a raging tsunami thrashing with ecstatic energy.

They can be silent or deafening, or even both at the same time. In her own medical practice, author Rachel Carleton Abrams M.D. explains that many women who come for help to reach orgasm are in fact already experiencing them regularly while having  sex, albeit mildly.

They just didn’t realize it, after the false expectations set by porn and Hollywood’s over-the-top acting led them to believe that what they were feeling somehow wasn’t orgasmic enough.

Learning to experience several different kinds of orgasms by experimenting with stimulation involving a variety of techniques aimed at eliciting different but complimentary reactions is the best way to help a woman discover her orgasmic range, her preferences and desires, her favorite moves and, most importantly, the best combinations to ensure that sex satisfies both of your needs and desires every single time!