I’m going to premise this by saying that I can give you some tips for helping you get more ‘hits’ on your profile but I make no promises that if you write the most amazing profile on earth, you’ll find your soul mate.

A lot can happen after some winks and a flurry of emails! But until then, here are some quick tips for a more attractive online dating profile.

Use a photo!

Everyone should use a photo and it should be one that is representative of you, shows you in as flattering a light as possible, should ideally have just you in it. and should be in focus. Obviously it goes without saying; it should be YOU! 

Start on a positive note

I would steer clear of saying anything that makes it sound like dating online is beneath you or that has been forced upon you. It sends the wrong message. Avoid saying anything that makes you sound like a prospect to avoid because you need to captivate them in the first couple of lines. That’s right, captivate, not scare or turn off. Be confident.

Easy on the length

They say that size matters but in this case, it’s about striking a balance between so short it seems like you don’t care, and so long, it seems like you want the person to be overwhelmed with boredom. People don’t read web pages in the same way that they read books or magazines, and are quite likely to skim, so writing the longest profile in history will hinder chances.

Leave a little mystery

Yes the profile is for telling a prospective date about yourself but if you roll out everything in the profile and tell them ever itty, bitty, little piece of info about yourself, what’s left to ask? Write enough to create curiosity and have the prospective date wanting to find out more.

Be careful of stating the obvious and suffering from ‘Those who doth protest too much’ syndrome

It’s better to be funny with your profile rather than state “I’m really funny” because…well that’s not very funny! Convey and prove your personality with whatever you write because quite frankly, I glaze over when I read “great sense of humor” and “great guy”.

And purlease steer clear of trying to ram ‘qualities’ down people’s throats. I’m really nice; I’m really honest; I’m really caring – People who are nice, honest, or caring don’t make a point of stating it, they just are these things.

But…convey your personality and qualities

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So are you ready to get your kink on?

What will you need? Where are you going to get it? How crazy do you want to be?

This article will offer an interesting twist on classic BDSM items, as well as introduce you to a few new possibilities.

Hint: I’ve found a new use for four AA batteries, and the results have been spine-tingling.

Bondage in Aisle 5 - Hardware Stores Seen in a Whole New Light

It’s so funny – now that I’m into BDSM, the most innocent places spark sexually interesting ideas. We’re talking hardware stores, garden stores, pet stores… I used to have to be dragged into these places for sink parts and dog food, and now I like ducking into the rope aisle to see what colors or textures they have in stock.

I’ll whiz past the rawhide chews to see what kind of dog collars will fit a human-size neck. (“Does this come with a matching leash?”) Garden shops have hemp rope for binding trees – now come on, trees aren’t going anywhere, let’s put that rope to better use!

The Shopping List

In addition to your hands and mouth, here are some suggestions for your BDSM bag of tricks, one for every day of the week:

1. Ropes

Practice your reverse prayer, chest harness, and hog tie techniques with a variety of ropes – nylon, hemp, cotton. Rough, smooth, thick, silky, it’s fun to experiment and find out which works best for you. Not only can you restrain someone with rope, but you can fashion it into something as sexy as lingerie – highlight various parts of the body and turn it into an art form.

Fun tip: Apply a vibrator to a taut length of rope and feel the vibration spread…

Where you can find it: hardware, garden, army surplus store, online. Or steal it from the local boy scout troop.

2. Handcuffs

Metal cuffs are edgier and more painful, and lend an extra air of humiliation to your play session. It’s especially intense when they tighten up as you’re having sex, it’s like being bitten. I also like the smell of them - the oiled metal is hot.

Where you can find it: sex store, gun store, your friendly neighborhood police officer.

3. Clothes pins

Clothes pins should be renamed "nipple clamps." I mean, who uses them for hanging clothes these days? The inexpensive wooden clamps can be arranged in nice little rows along the curve of the torso or along the shoulder blades to make “angel wings.”

Where you can find it: grocery store, laundry aisle of retailer store, your old-fashioned neighbors clothesline.

4. Wartenberg Wheel

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Khiem and I are walking right now with Yakub, and we’re hanging out and doing what we call a “brainstorm day.” 

Well, actually they both goofed off on some weird internet sites for a little while which they didn’t share with me and they downloaded things to my Mac which sort of scares me a little bit, but at least I’ll have some fun entertainment when I get home.

But we were all hiking and talking, and they were asking me, “What are the secrets of how to get her to masturbate for you on the telephone?”

Now, I’ve been somebody who has absolutely enjoyed the benefits of phone sex even before women got to enjoy the benefits of the Blackberry-vibrating phone sex! How to get a woman to masturbate for you on the phone is really very simple.

Use what you know 

First, you have to call them late at night. Let’s say you’ve been emailing this woman back and forth. You’ve been flirting in emails back and forth, and maybe you’ve had a couple of phone conversations, and she tells you she’ll be around that night for you two to talk.

What you need to do in that email or text message is ask, “How late can I call you? I want you to be really cozy and comfortable when I call, so you’re not thinking anything about the day.” Then she’ll tell you how late you can call.

So then you call her that late – 11 o’clock at night. She’s in bed, she’s wearing her little jammies, and you start conversing with her. You talk to her about emotions, about anything that has to do with a deep topic. Because remember sex for a woman starts in her mind. You need to connect with her.

You can’t get on the phone with her and say, “So what are you wearing right now? Do you want to masturbate with me on the phone?” No! It’s about connecting.

Phone sex foreplay

Picture it as foreplay – or phoneplay! What you need to do is just talk to her a little bit, get to know her a little bit, make a comment on something you guys have shared together – maybe this is like the first or second phone call, and you’ve learned things about her.

Maybe she’s told you that she really loves deep conversations. You can say to her, “Man, I really love deep conversations with you. I love to get to know you better.  It’s so much fun. I’m enjoying exploring you. I’m enjoying penetrating your mind.” When you talk in very subliminal sexual ways, it will make her very sexually turned on.

Most guys make the biggest mistake: a woman is talking to you late at night, you’re having an emotional conversation and you’re connecting, and the guy will immediately ruin it by saying, “Are you wet right now?” Or “You know, my cock’s hard.  You want to feel it?"

You don’t want to say that! What you have to assume is that she’s already turned on. What I like to do is use very subliminal language. “I’m having so much fun connecting with you now.”  That’s foreplay in her mind. “I’m having a great time learning about you.” “Wow, I wish I was sitting right there with you right now, seeing your eyes during this conversation” That’s another thing to say to her…

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What should you do if your partner lies to you?

It can be a tough situation to deal with, especially if both partners love and care about each other despite the lies. 

There are a few things to ask both yourself and your partner before making a decision whether or not to stay with them. 

One thing is for certain - a good relationship is open and honest. 

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

We have been living together for 3 years and together for 3.6 years. We are engaged.

 

He would do ANYTHING for me, but at the same time LIES. He lies about MONEY and work. He is not a good provider. I can’t even work because he can’t afford his own car and uses mine and He would rather be the one working.

 

What do you do when you both love each other but your partner can’t tell you the truth about money things? How can I get him to UNDERSTAND that he needs to be honest about money and work? Please help, I need to make a decision FAST before I marry into a problem that cannot be fixed.

 

- Melissa, NY

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Why is he lying?

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If you’re a female frustrated by not being able to orgasm through oral sex - especially if you used to be able to - you’re not alone. 

That probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but take heart in the fact that there are some things you can do to help solve the problem and once again climax through oral sex.

Here’s a question from a girl who is feeling incredibly frustrated by her inability to have an orgasm, even if her boyfriend tries for 45 minutes!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Any advise for WOMEN on receiving oral sex?  It seems to take longer and longer to reach an orgasm lately and quite often I get so frustrated that I lose the mood. I feel tense during oral sex and I’m sure that has something to do with it but I just don’t know how to make myself relax.

 

It used to be wonderful, but now I feel like it’s a waste of time. I feel bad for my fiancé who spent as much as 45 minutes there only for me to give up from frustration.  

 

PLEASE…. I need help here!  I WANT THAT FEELING BACK! Any advice?

 

– Amber,   North Carolina

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Ask yourself - can you still climax well by yourself?

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I have heard every type of sermon in 30 years time ranging from the typical foundational teachings to Dr. Seuss (if you can believe it) as a reference for deeper truths.

But the more typical subjects on sexual issues and relationship issues in the church and elsewhere range from marriage, single dating, and sex before or during marriage, abortion, and the dreaded gay and lesbian surge.

Sadly, there are other issues out there believers in Christ should be hearing from their pulpits. So permit this writer to expose some of those subjects because its high time believers and non-believers alike fight against such things for the sake of everyone on the planet. 

Why don’t we hear about rape? 

Why don’t we hear a preacher talk about how rape affects everyone? EVERYONE! According to Rape Abuse and Incest National Network 1 out of 6 women and 1 out of 33 men are raped in their lifetime. This leads to depression, suicide, and drug/alcohol abuse, not the pretty “sweet by and by” topics heard but something every believer and non-believer needs to hear about.

And the children, that’s a whole article in itself; incest and ministerial abuse is even as disgusting and falls under this category. There is also the topic of prison rape that is largely ignored by the best of minister (especially when dealing with prison ministries) 

If the church really wants to see healing of the body, mind, spirit, and soul then they need to deal with this topic head on. Until it is, thousands of men, women and children will keep in silence never finding healing or release for the things they’ve experienced. Anger, bitterness, rage, and deep hurt are issues that need the churches attention more than if two men or women live in loving relationships. 

Why don’t we hear about the international sex trade? 

Around the world the sex trade is so huge it is catastrophic to many families and friends. From families who can’t afford to keep their kids and give their kids away to the sex trade to women taken from villages from eastern and developing countries to satisfy the needs of their “clientele” this is a crime which needs a voice.

Where are the ministers in the world who will give these women (and men) a voice? Girls from preteens and older need someone to speak for them or they will be nothing more than objects in the hands of people who have no care for their welfare. 

Why do we not hear about adults with urges for sexual relationship with children?

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Infidelity is certainly one of the most challenging issues a couple can face. The depth of pain experienced by the partner who was cheated on can be excruciating and unrelenting.

For those who are not able to move past this transgression, it can represent the death of the relationship. The breach of trust is simply too much for some to bear which is completely understandable.

However, for those who want to try to move past this event and rebuild their relationship foundation – there is hope. Make no mistake - it requires hard work and a commitment to the process.

The issue of “cheating” and having an “affair” comes up frequently in my couples work. Though this is one of the more challenging circumstances to work through in relationship therapy, the fact that the couple has presented themselves at all to work on it is a great sign.

Infidelity can not only be very damaging to the partner who was cheated on but shaming for the one who did the cheating. When a couple such as this sits down on the couch in front of me, they both know they are about to climb an incredibly steep mountain together in which they may not even make it to the summit.

There will undoubtedly be slippery rocks, sharp grades and formidable weather along the way.

I want to provide some guide posts to help navigate this treacherous climb in the form of ways a couple begin their ascent together. The following are five thoughts on how to heal from infidelity:

1) Cease the affair

This may seem obvious but sometimes “obvious” is better off stated. I have heard of more than one couple who went to therapy (not with me) to work on infidelity with the understanding that the affair was over – but the reality was it was still going on. This is not helpful.

2) There is no such thing as too much apologizing

The partner who cheated must be willing to apologize as many times as needed – and as sincerely as possible. They need to continue to take responsibility for wounding their partner and the relationship.

3) Allow the wounded partner his/her feelings

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Strip clubs often get a bad rap. 

So many women know the feeling of aggravation and doubt when their man calls and says he’s "working late", taking his "client" to discuss some important business at his favorite strip club. Yeah, right, it’s just "for the client" or "for his boss". As if your man was dragged in that strip club against his will , kicking and screaming, while those bad, bad women were assaulting him with exotic and sexual lap dances. Poor him.

Of course anyone who complaints about a strip club for men has never been to one of the really wild strip clubs - the ones for women. Damn. And you thought the men got wild. Let’s just say some of these ladies in the audience would surprise you. But that’s another story.

While your man is "talking business" at his favorite strip club, all you can do is sit at home and brood, getting more and more mad by the minute. Wondering what he is or isn’t doing with those topless women hanging all over him. 

Here’s an idea…  Instead of sitting around complaining about the situation, getting yourself more and more frustrated, why not take the situation into your own hands. Take your man to a strip club, and enjoy the experience as a couple. No, you don’t have to go to a trashy one that only guys would enter. Pick a nice, upscale one. Yes, contrary to the societal perception, there are many upscale strip clubs that are perfectly safe and welcoming to women and couples. In fact, you’d be surprised to learn how many strip clubs are actually owned by women.

Fact is, most men find it incredibly sexy and arousing to have a beautiful woman perform that intimate strip dance for them. 

And here’s the big surprise. Most men don’t want some strange woman doing these exotic and intimate dances for them. They would love to see their woman, the girl they fell in love with - do it for them.

So why not take advantage of what you just learned, and do something that will bring you closer together? Give him what he wants, so he doesn’t have to go get it somewhere else. He’ll be so happy you took the initiative, and prepared something for him that you knew he’d love.

But where can a "good girl" learn how to strip tease and do a lap dance?

Well, you could start going to strip clubs and watching those girls, day after day… or you could take a class.

But we like to work smarter, not harder. In these days of the Internet and instant access to information, you don’t have to wait for your strip tease class to start in 3 months. You can download a live video, step by step course, that’ll teach your what you need to know BY THIS AFTERNOON. Sure you won’t get it all in 10 minutes, but you can know it TODAY…

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Janet Jackson got a bum rap! Or is that "boob" rap?

You remember the furor over Michael’s little sister and the infamous flash seen round the world at the Super Bowl a few years ago?

CBS is still trying to recover from the whole incident; it is also trying to recover some cash after the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) made their pockets light a few dollars over the entire affair.

Jackson has yet to recover from her "flash" in the pan, but amazingly Justin Timberlake’s career has skyrocket proclaiming to "bring sexy back." Right.

Should Women Be Allowed By Law To Show Their Breasts in Public?

Take the controversial poll at the end of this article to see where you fit in!

The old double standard at work 

I see a double standard here.

Timberlake can look good with his wet t-shirt photo on the Rolling Stones and no one even throws a stone at his bare chest image. Jackson shows one breast and you thought Western Civilization would crumble before our eyes. It is the breast that has kept many a child in our culture alive through their infant days.

It is the breast that is viewed as "dirty" and "unclean". It is time for our Western Culture to drop the double standard, get a grip at what is "dirty", and allow women everywhere the right to choose to let their breast free or not.

Breast gets such a bad rap sometimes as either visually distracting to men (and some women) or they treat women with smaller size breast with disregard. If you are a mother breast-feeding your child, then you are treated as if you are a topless dancer; if you are woman who chooses to flash your breast you can be charged with “indecent exposure” inciting a “riot” with their breast.

Guys can let their chest out for as long as they want without a question; women showing their breast out in public are treated with disregard over their choice of letting their girls out. Trust me, there are times I wonder if men and their breast size should put on a bra and over their mammary sacks up?

More of the double standard

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On average women find muscular men more sexually attractive.

This may seem a little obvious, but it IS scientifically proven by research.  Not only that, but time and time again, social psychology research shows us that women will choose more muscular men for short term sexual partners, and have sex with them faster without a long dating period, than their non muscular counterparts.

Women will also have sex with these “types” of men without developing an emotional attraction to them first as well.

Research shows women prefer muscular men 

In fact, a study published in 2007, by Frederick et al.  photographed men and had random women judge the look of the muscularity and fatness of their bodies.  What the researchers discovered was not only that the men who were judged to be more muscular with less body fat were deemed more attractive, but also that these same “musculed”  men had more sexual partners on average than their non “musculed” rivals.

This may seem unbelievably obvious to you, but for some reason there is a notion that your “look” and the condition of your body don’t play a role in attracting women.

Despite this idea, this research is proof that the way your body looks absolutely makes a difference in the amount of sex you will have, and the amount of different, high quality women that you can have sex with.

In other words, the study shows that guys with the right ‘type’ of muscularity can have sex with more women, more often, and have more short term partners than less physically attractive men of the same age and social status (more muscle = more flings).

Point blank, if she’s looking for a hair raising blast in a sports car, and you look like a practical safe station wagon, then it doesn’t matter what you say or do, the chips may be stacked against you more than you know.

What else will you attract? 

As an aside, the research by Frederick et al also shows that guys with the right muscular build ALSO have sex with more women that are currently in relationships with other men.

That’s right, according to the research, if you’ve got the right look, even married, engaged, or otherwise ‘attached’ women still want a piece of you, and many are perfectly fine with ‘cheating’ on their significant other to have a taste of what you’ve got to offer.

This effect is all dependent on having the right “ type” of muscular body. As the Frederick research also illustrated, a bodybuilder style build was not as attractive as a male body with properly proportioned muscles.

Luckily, getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men–The Adonis Index. With a top flight male transformation program like the Adonis Effect  (which is designed to build your body into its most ideal attractive shape) while introducing a wee bit of dedication on your part in order to see astounding results.

So what are you waiting for? Lets get to the gym, and start building the body our women really want!

Getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men… The Adonis Index. To find out how to use the Adonis Index to generate subconscious physical attraction, visit the Adonis Effect website.

Okay ladies, I know most of you THINK seducing your date is the quickest way to get him to call you back but in reality it’s the worst thing you can do—especially early on!

There are many “dating experts” that will tell you differently including fellow colleague David Wygant, who by the way gives great advice about other aspects of dating.

I just totally disagree with him on this point! Come on Dave!  You’re a guy and you are in no way guaranteeing that taking it off gets a call back. It just gives the guy a great time in the moment! The problem is, the minute you leave, ladies, you are out of sight out of mind.

Why taking it all off doesn’t work 

I’m not saying be a prude and cover up from the top of your neck to your ankles. I’m saying, ladies, dress to look nice and desirable as a human being not a piece of meat on display. Men don’t fall in love because of their libido.

They fall in love when they allow themselves to give up their heart. Commitment for a man is always a conscious choice. Until a man decides to commit, he will continue to play the field, often with more than one woman at a time.

Sure, most guys will gladly sleep with you, and they’ll be quite pleased with you for satisfying them. Here’s where you will get confused. Just because he sleeps with you doesn’t mean he loves you. In fact, it doesn’t even mean he LIKES you.

It just means you were willing, he was “in the mood” (which is every guy all the time) and so you did it. It in no way means anything else, in HIS mind as far as “commitment.” Rather it will be a pleasant instant gratification moment.

Another negative about jumping in the sack with your date is that the minute sex is involved, the communication level of a developing relationship seems to just freeze. However well you’ve gotten to know each other at that point seems to be as far as the relationship “depth” goes. This is a very bad consequence if you were trying to move him along the path of committing to you.

Thinking sex right away is a good idea? It’s not just you. 

I can give you story after story, example after example to prove my case. I’ve seen the evidence all over America and I’ve seen it all through the entertainment industry (where I spent 16 years and all my single years).

I so feel bad for all these female celebrities because they are making the same mistakes many of you are and jumping in the sack, even getting pregnant, to try and catch their man. For them, the results are worse because they’ve just given the guy bragging rights for nabbing a celeb who they didn’t have to commit to first. Kudos to the guy, sympathies for the celebrity who will soon be dumped—that is if she was ever even considered a girlfriend.

Okay, okay, enough ranting, let me close in just telling you there are many other ways to capture that man’s heart than taking it off and using your body, no matter HOW amazing your body is.

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

It’s a fact of life – some medications inhibit orgasm.  If you’re prescribed a medication that may do this, make sure you’re taking it for the right reasons and that you’re prepared to deal with the side effects.

Not being able to have an orgasm during sex because of a medication can be depressing, especially if there’s nothing you can do about it, but there are things you can do to lessen the blow. 

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I am on medication that doesn’t allow me to always have an orgasm. It does not interfere with my ability to maintain an erection. Sometimes way too long.

 

The fact I do not always have an orgasm upsets my wife. I have told her it is the medication and not her. She thinks that she is doing something wrong.

 

- Michael, Florida

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

How do I explain to my partner why I can’t orgasm?

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Dating can be tricky business. 

However, by following the below 10 dating tips, you can increase your chances of having a positive experiences.

1.  How do you start dating again?

Return to the dating scene at your own pace.    Just get up and socialize in whichever ways you feel comfortable with.  The worst thing you can do is move too fast so take your time no matter which route you choose to find your dates.

2.  What should you do?

In this dangerous world of dating, you should be careful not to give out too much of your personal information in the beginning.  Take things slow, ask a lot of questions, research your dates past, and/or do a background check. 

An ounce of prevention can prevent a lifetime of heartache.  Learn as much information about your date as possible which will, in turn, help the conversation flow to topics of interest.  Information about their families, pets, favorite food, birthdays, favorite movies, etc. make wonderful topics and usually you can learn enough to know if you will be compatible.

3.  What should you never do?

Don’t talk about your exes or intense commitment on the first date.  It’s important to have fun and not take things too seriously in the beginning.  Don’t have sex until you’ve done your homework on this person.  If they are interested and enjoy your company, they’ll call back.  Don’t brag about yourself and your accomplishments.  Instead, focus on your partner’s interests.

4.  Where can one find people of the same age?

Take a new class, join a club, have your friends set you up, try on-line dating, go to sporting events, church, school, socialize at parties, adopt a dog and go to the park, join a gym.  Most importantly, be active and get out there.

5.  How do you introduce yourself?

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Guys might say they have ‘types’, like blondes, or short and petite, or like women with blue eyes, or brunettes, whatever.

But I’d guess that most of you never refer to your “type” as being “excessively overweight” or “big boned with a great personality.”

Yet, this is in fact what guys settle for when they think they have no shot at something better looking.

What women really want 

Likewise, 99% of all women prefer a guy with a great body - regardless of hair and eye color, or how tall or short he is. There is no such thing as an attractive women who “prefers” a guy with a big sloppy gut, or a hot woman who would really like a guy with a weak sunken chest, no muscle in his arms and skinny twigs for legs.

Rest assured these body looks are not any woman’s “type”, they are just what women settle for when they realize they can’t get their hands on a better looking guy.

Now, of course you might say that rock stars or big time Hollywood celebrities get great looking women without being in any kind of shape, and I’ll agree to an extent, but if you’ll notice most of these guys are in pretty good shape too!

The research on body shape and attraction 

There is current research that shows on average:

• Women with great bodies have sex with guys that have great bodies.
• Women with a few extra pounds tend to end up with guys with a few extra pounds.
• And women who are really big, well you can fill the blank in here.

In other words, more often than not you’re going to end up in bed with a girl who’s body is only as good as yours.

In fact, studies show that it’s rare for a guy who is completely out of shape to constantly be having sex with women that have the hottest of hot bodies.It’s much more likely that the women available to you have a body that rates about the same as yours does.

So how do I get a great body?

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It’s an age old question. Does penis size really matter?

Certainly, it depends on who you ask. Some people prefer large penises and others prefer quite small ones.  The majority of people, however, agree that penis size is relative to the vagina.

If a penis fits the vagina, it really doesn’t matter how big it measures because, well . . . it fits!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

Does penis size really matter?

 

- Small Penis Guy, CA

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The Penis Size Controversy

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